03-07-2010, 09:36 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
| | Re: Disrespected
What he did is a form of abuse. It did not "injure" you physically, but it was fully intended to degrade and intimidate you. Abusers may feel remorseful--but lack of remorse is clearly related to an abuser's mentality--they blame the victim and make excuses, "you just made me so mad. . . if you hadn't brought this up when i was so tired," or whatever b.s. (Many abusers are remorseful--until the next time they get angry, but no remorse is clearly abusive, if that makes sense).
Your response is extremely appropriate and valid, and a sign that you have a pretty good sense of self-worth. You absolutely do not need to tolerate this. It was abusive behavior, one of the "acceptable" reasons for someone to leave a marriage. If a stranger did this, you could have them prosecuted.
No part of me wants to encourage you to give him another chance, but there is always that possibility. I would encourage you to talk with a minister and probably a marriage counselor before making a decision about this, however. There is an element of risk involved in giving someone with a history of abusive behavior a second chance--or in giving them any sign that you are thinking about leaving. If you can walk away, trusting that your husband will be in God's hands, then it is certainly understandable why you would do so. Good luck and God bless, whatever you decide.