Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Mountain States
Wife threatening to leave me.
Hi, I'm new here, but am pretty much at my wit's end. My wife and I have been married 10 years, this coming summer, but were dating 4 years prior to that. Last fall I was laid off from my good paying job and I have only been able to land one interview in 5.5 months of sending out many hundreds of resumes. Needless to say, my wife is from Europe (we met there) and she basically has given me an ultimatum: either I find a good paying job by June, or she leaves and goes back to her parents in her home country. Our marriage has always been very rocky, and in particular I've always resented the fact that she never had any interest in sex. As a result, we never were able to conceive a child, but behold! 3 months after I was laid off, she conceived and now she wants to go back to her parents to raise the child, since I can't find a job.
Long story short, she has given me the choice of throwing away everything we own, including two cars, a very big house full of furniture (much of which I grew up with and has sentimental value to me) and just go move in with her parents, who have a house (a nice townhouse, granted) overseas. I don't speak the language of that country and it's pretty much a village, with old people and no chance for decent work. I know my in-laws would give the future child a good life and education, but at this point, I am so resentful of what she's forcing on me, that I feel the relationship would just end horribly over there, too. Plus, it's a matter of pride: I spent my whole life busting my behind to work hard and save money and live responsibly, and this is what I get in return. It's a matter of principle and pride for me. In some ways, I feel like the displaced Jews who were forced to throw away their lives and possessions to flee their countries during WWII.
Part of me says I need to just forget about it all and just give up everything for the sake of the child, but I know I'll hate my wife for what she's done (and has put me through for 10 years of complaining about how her country is so much better).
Oh yeah, we also have two cats and a champion dog that would somehow have to survive relocation. Not sure one of the cats would survive the trip, since she's old and sickly.
Thanks, and sorry for the long first posting.