curiously

13... I feel for you, because.... My husband and I have been married for nearly 29 years, however, 5 of them were spent separated, we got back together in Jan 2008... We both had conditions, one of mine was that he stop having very expensive lunches with this young lady. She and their lunches were *supposedly* business related ONLY... BUT since when do you send flirty emails to a business associate? When I say flirty I mean he said things like.... *Can't wait to see you* *You are so unique, enjoyed our time so much didn't want it to end* *Need to see you for lunch I've missed you* etc etc etc... When I did aske him to tell me the truth about her, he admitted that there was ONCE an attraction, later he said it was she who was attracted...
Anyhow, I emotionally explained how it hurt me that he take a woman to lunch, and say things to her that he never said to me, let alone taking me to such lavious lunches... ended up telling him that it HAD TO STOP if it didn't our marriage was over... (not like there weren't other problems) .... For a few months it looked like he decided our marriage and ME, were more important, no lunches....
Well, one Sat morning I looked over and saw his computer on, the screen was on emails, and there in front of me was one from him to her, telling her it was to see again and they HAD to do it again soon... I CAME UNGLUED....
Even though things got crazy we are still together, and he finally did see that these lunches were not the place for a married man trying to rebuild his marriage of 29 years.... As far as I know they haven't seen each other. I DID EMAIL HER though... won't get into that, but I wasn't nasty or anything, I just stated a few facts she may not have been aware of....

Bottom line, while my husband, and maybe even your wife, claim there is nothing going on, with time it could, besides, if it simple JUST LUNCH, then it is SIMPLY not important enough to cause problems in a marriage!

I am a little late posting I can see that, but I just had to share with you the fact that I am on your side, to say that you pushed her to someone else is complete BS. If you love someone, why do anything you know will cause them pain?

Ok I'm done with my rant... sorry.... things for my marriage haven't changed in what is now going on 30 years, and they aren't likely to.... So I too am looking to head off to the land of singledom... Heaven help me.

13yrs3kids

curiously,

thanks for your post at this point I know they were more then just friends... Not sure how far things have got with them. At this point it doesn't matter. I believe that I have tried everything I could to try and fix things or even make an attempt to fix things. I wish things could be different more for the kids then anything but I would be lying if I said I still didn't love her. I have accepted the fact that I can not change her mind and any change has to come from her. I'm not holding my breath even though in my heart I still have hope. I have to move on.

They say love never fails and I know we were in love at one point. Only time will tell if that is true. Best of luck to you in your marriage.