Husband is antisocial, even with family, should I leave.
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Old 05-10-2010, 08:18 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband is antisocial, even with family, should I leave.

I have 4 boys from a previous marriage (27,25, 23, 21) we have a daughter together 14. My oldest lives with us, he moved back 3 years ago. My 25 year old moved in with his dad after his wife left him to help him financially. My 23 year old moved in with his dad about 6 months ago because my husband talks to him with no respect, inturn he talks to my husband very little and with no respect. My ex's wife moved back and they sold their house (without telling the boys) and they were told to get out. On mother's day the boys told me they had to move back in. Now the problem, my husband doesn't partake in any socializing, so he hears bits and pieces when he comes in from outside, then he freaks on me after everyone leaves about things he has heard. When I try to talk to him, he will not listen, he storms out, he slams things, and says hurtful things, I'm sure he doesn't like the boys, he has never helped with raising the kids, I take care of everything. This really hurts me and I can't seem to keep things together anymore. I'm the glue, I'm always trying to smooth things out, sometimes I want to die because I can't take living like this anymore. Sometimes I don't even care if people hate me if I leave this life forever. Last night I relized that he will never have my back, please help, I need advise, I have few friends, and my family doesn't bother with me. (I'm not as educated or have the same financial status as them.)
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Old 05-15-2010, 10:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband is antisocial, even with family, should I leave.

There's not enough detail in your post to really offer constructive advice. Sounds like there is a lot of history, a failed marriage, and family dynamics going on.

It also sounds like you're taking on a lot & need emotional support. You knew your husband was anti-social before you married him. Get some professional help. Your husband won't change. I would see a counselor for yourself and explore what you are doing to take on so much. Try to minimize that. Explore ways that you can learn to cope with the situation as-is and try to ease the family theatrics somehow.
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Old 05-15-2010, 11:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband is antisocial, even with family, should I leave.

Maybe he is resentful of the boys living with you. I mean they are grown men now and all having to live at home...seems a bit much. I know sometimes life gets you down, but at that age - unless it is dire circumstances - they should be able to afford their own apartments to live in. Maybe he thought by this time he would be more of the center/focus rather than your adult sons?
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