I just found out my husband has been texting and talking to another woman for 6 month - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-01-2010, 11:52 PM Thread Starter
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I just found out my husband has been texting and talking to another woman for 6 month

I just found out my husband has been texting and talking to another woman for 6 months.
A little background....I am 27 have been married for 4 years and have a 3 year old.

My husband makes me feel like Im nothing, never any sweet words, never any gifts and when I was pregnant with my son he told me on mothers day I wasn't a mom yet so I dont need anything. (guess thats not bad since him and his cousin played xbox in my room for two days after I gave birth)
I don't even get cards on special days. He got me some flowers once but he said they were giving them away at work so here. (well once more but thats when I found out about something and he felt bad)

one mothers day he asked me to make breakfast for myself cause he didnt know how to make pancakes.

Anyway I am pretty handy around the house and the car so he never thinks he should do anything for me.

I do everything he doesnt have a license so I drop my son off at daycare drop him off at work, then I pick him up then pick up my son, everyday after that I come home clean, wash clothes, cook and read to and take care of my son. Granted he does some of the cleaning and trust me i have no complaint. The thing is since we have been together we have had financial problems he didnt work for 2 years 1 of which I was paying the bills all alone and the second We lived with MY parents. (yes for a year and my dad bought our wedding rings) although we didnt have a wedding...
okay enough I have a lot to tell about why I feel neglected in the relationship and to say I have grow a distaste for even my birthday to come around doesnt cut it.
(Well it got to the point where my bro gave me a rose on mothers day and I had to leave and cry)

Okay so he was hiding his phone and sleepin with it natural sign he was hiding something. so I pick it up write down the number who just texted called it... Woman... asked him who is was... MAN....
called the number back asked if this woman knew this man... NO! Confronted... got screamed at...called this woman back she has no clue his married been talking for six months. he say that the last time he talked to her was a month ago, and he was trying to hid it so I wouldnt be hurt but he is a changed man now.

HUUMMMMM! not the first time by the way, before it was his friends cousin... then before that paying online for women to call him...
He says he has never cheated on me...?

He says that its because he doesnt think I love him anymore....
Did I mention he lies about everything even leaving work sick.

I told him I am just depressed and resentful a little and granted my attitudes are tough, but I have his back on everything anytime he is in trouble Im there.

I have been so hurt and neglected in our 4 year marriage that I am ready to give up and leave, he tells me he is changed but should I believe him. I want and don't want a divorce I feel like if I gotta feel like this I might as well be alone and make myself happy, but I love him and don't want to leave him hoping someday things will get better.

I am so tired.... How is it that I can do everything for him and still be the one hurt, am I the only one who thinks it shoulda been me talking to someone not him.

Please Does anyone have any advice on what I should do or how to approach this.!? im desperate.

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-02-2010, 12:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I just found out my husband has been texting and talking to another woman for 6 m

OH and by the way I know a lot of guys are like she probably ugly I do a lot to keep myself up for my husband I'm 5'9 145 pounds and try to hit the gym at least 3 times a week
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-02-2010, 08:44 AM
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Re: I just found out my husband has been texting and talking to another woman for 6 m

After reading your post, I would wonder why you would want to stay with him.

Tell him to cut it out all the texting or leave.

Tell him you'd like to be able to see his phone whenever you would like to in order to check up on him.

This is - at best - emotional cheating and you don't have to tolerate it. Just because he may not have slept with someone doesn't make it OK.

Good luck.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-02-2010, 09:28 AM
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Re: I just found out my husband has been texting and talking to another woman for 6 m

Get counseling, because you are a "walk away wife" in the making. Doesn't matter "who started it," b/c you are miserable and sounds like he is, too. don't let $$ stand in the way of getting help; a divorce is more expensive! You might be able to fix this, or not--the mother's day stuff is probably indicative of his passive-aggressive nature (mad at you for whatever, so he refuses to do the normal things a loving spouse does). I lived like that for 20 years--despite numerous attempts on my part to change things (and that includes changing my behavior and trying to change my expectations), he would not budge--no gifts, always a half-assed excuse instead, blah, blah, blah. I let it go too long and became so disconnected that although we were married 20 years, I have never once missed him since separating a year ago--no regrets whatsoever. That's sad. Don't let that happen to you! Confront the issues now and decide later if the counseling has led to a happy marriage or not.
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