06-15-2010, 06:24 AM
Join Date: Jun 2010
| | "In one single moment your whole life can turn round"
I’m so confused. I’ve known my wife for almost 8 years. We have been married 2. For at least a year I have not been in love. But I hid it, thinking it was just a phase. Blanking it out. We still had sex, had fun… everything was great on the surface but then on some Friday night I kissed another girl. I felt so bad I had to tell her I didn’t love her. Being such a coward I didn’t tell her about the kiss. She found out about the kiss later.
I don’t know what to do.
She has since moved back to her parents and we have agreed that we will meet up in about 2 weeks with a decision on how we want to move on. I have a feeling she wants to try again. She sends me random txt messages/emails saying she misses me, she is horny for me, etc etc. I don’t know what I want. The loneliness is unbearable but I don’t love her anymore. I’m scared that if I tried to make it work... I would only be doing it for selfish reasons such as not wanting to be alone. I don’t want to hurt her further. But at the same time maybe I’ll make the biggest mistake of my life by leaving her. She is perfect, gorgeous, and the sex is incredible… but our whole relationship is just physical. I don’t know if am attracted to her anymore, yet I still have sex. I think when i say un-attracted.. It’s more on the personality.
Maybe it doesn’t sound so bad when I write it down here but believe me, my world is crumbling. I want to move on but I’ve lied so much to myself in the past I don’t know what is true anymore. I don’t know what my feelings are saying. I’m scared that maybe I haven’t been happy for an even longer time… maybe even before we got married. That’s the thing with being a cowardly bastard… you never say what you really want and only aim to please her. Forgetting about yourself.
I don’t know if Ive made any sense… anyone been somewhere similar?
We have no kids, I’m 27 and she is 24... if that makes any difference
Last edited by Mr Unhappy; 06-15-2010 at 06:57 AM.