I think it is time to separate, but I still love my husband.
My husband has told me many times that while he loves me, he just "isn't in love with me." He has had many emotional affairs and we have been to marriage counseling for a year and a half. I have come to realize that I cannot make him be in love with me.
It is so hard to come to terms with this, because I love him and love my family. We have two daughters (5 and 7) and it just kills me to think they will come from a broken home. My kids actually dance around the house singing how much they love their family. My heart is breaking for them (and me)
We have been through a lot over the years, including having a child with cancer. She is healthy now thank God, but it took a toll on us. We both work hard and are good people, but it just isn't working. His EA have hurt me to the core and I hate feeling so unloved.
I guess I am fortunate that I don't fear being on my own and raising our daughters. I am fortunate to have a great job that allows me to be financially able to take care of myself and my kids, but I am just so sad that it has come to this. I am not afraid to be on my own, I just don't want my family to break up. I just love being a family.
I don't know why I still love my husband. He isn't even all that nice to me. He doesn't show me any affection and is really selfish with his time. It is all about him all the time. He even emotionally neglects our daughters. He is grumpy, depressed and moody. I sometimes even dread when he comes home from work, because I am unsure of what kind of mood he will be in. He also seems to care less about hurting me. I know my girls and I don't deserve this. So, why do I not want my marriage to break up? My head tells me it is time to let it go, but my heart is still willing to fight.
Has anyone else experienced these kind of feelings when coming to terms with separating?