Wife doesn't want to try anymore. - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 05:41 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Join the gym and work out w your wife and new guy. Also file an emergency motion to have hour children returned to the marital home as your wife is clearly a horrible mother. I hope ur not giving this woman any money.
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post #32 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 05:42 PM
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Join the gym and work out w your wife and new guy. Also file an emergency motion to have hour children returned to the marital home as your wife is clearly a horrible mother. I hope ur not giving this woman any money.
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Yeah, he can't be bothered to hug their freaking mother in front of them and SHE'S a horrible parent. Rich.
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post #33 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 06:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

where did this no affection in front of the kids come from?? I said in public. I have told her I was sorry for how id been, and I want to try and change. She admits its not all my fault either. She knows she can be overly emotional and it could have made me push away. I now understand where she is coming from, cause she is acting distant now and im trying. She is not a bad mother, im not saying confiding in some other guy is right, but i can umderstand where she is coming from
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post #34 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 06:58 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Something tells me there is more to gym guy then whats she's telling you.

What made her confess to confiding in this gym guy?

Have you look for a burner phone?
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post #35 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

No, but she guards her phone now. Ive also thought that maybe there was more to the gym guy. I have to decide weither to believe her ornot. I asked her if she was still working out with him. she said yes and they actually talk a lot about our marriage. She claims that he tells her that she shouldnt leave me unless she is 100 percent sure she wants out, and that she doesnt seem sure. Appearently hes been through a divorce. Then again hes part of the reason she wants to seperate, cause some guy at the gym has better communication then her husband does with her.
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post #36 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 08:04 PM
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where did this no affection in front of the kids come from?? I said in public. I have told her I was sorry for how id been, and I want to try and change. She admits its not all my fault either. She knows she can be overly emotional and it could have made me push away. I now understand where she is coming from, cause she is acting distant now and im trying. She is not a bad mother, im not saying confiding in some other guy is right, but i can umderstand where she is coming from
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Well with that attitude I think you can be worked with. it looks like you're willing to own your part, but do you think you can really change it? If so I would tell her that you can't change anything while there's another guy around so you're going to file and go on with your life. Do you really love your wife? I see where you've said you're really attracted to her but not where you love her. Forgive me if I've missed it....I suspect she thinks you don't love her with all the affection she was missing.
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post #37 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 08:42 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Sorry, my mistake. You mentioned you're uncomfortable with affection like holding hands in public, then you say you have young children. I must have lumped the two together.

Okay, gym guy friend has to go. This you must be firm on 100%! No secret communication, no pass words, no nothing with gym guy. But this means YOU step up. Like wilderness said, (OMG I can't believe I agree with anything he says) join the gym and go with her! That was an excellent idea.

You and your wife have to agree that you work together to fix things, which means no more gym guy, no more secret communication, no passwords, you agree to work out together, spend 2 hours every day alone together, be more affectionate, more loving, get reconnected.

Or

File and move on.

No wish washy I can't decide crap. All in to work it out or start packing stuff. Dude you have to realize you pulled away and so did she.
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post #38 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 09:00 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

A women who is feeling ignored or her needs not being met will drift off elsewhere if she is getting attention from others. Not saying they would cheat for sure but I am saying that they will focus more on the one that is giving them what they want. What they are not realizing is that this person that is giving them the attention outside of their marriage is also a NEW thing and if they did hook up with them, they would soon find out that it was also getting stale after the newness wore off. I'm not sure if your wife is cheating on you but I do know for sure is that I have spoken to and talked until my face was blue to try and get my husband to realize that I need him to stop being so shy in the bedroom and start making the first moves. It's very disheartening for a women to feel like she always has to be the one to initiate things. It's very attracting and sexy for a women to feel that her husband wants and desires her.
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post #39 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 09:12 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Sorry until this gym guy is out of the picture this marriage is toast.

News flash....cheaters lie

Why in the hell do you think she hides her cell?
Why in the hell do you think she is working on replacing you?

If gym guy could commit to your wife she would be already be moved out.

You are trying to be such a great husband but like I said before, you can't compete with this infatuation/"love".

I think it tough love time and even though you weren;t the perfect husband it time for her to sh1t or get off the pot. She is either a cake eater or is play you until the time is right to leave.

This is an exit affair in the making.
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post #40 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 09:19 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

I think its time to call her hand and with a smile on your face help start packing.

She will go to gym guy and tell him you want her out and then gym guy will see that she is his problem know and bail. But make no mistake he will tap your wife before he dumps her.

I bet the guy is still married!

Dude you need to stop listening to what your wife wants you to know and get going with your own detective work.

Hell this guy could be a pedophile at the very least you can find out who the mother of your kids is seeing. YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR ENEMY!!!!!!

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post #41 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-22-2013, 11:06 PM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Why is she guarding her cell? What REALLY is going on with Mr. Perfect Gym Guy? Stay tuned....

Long term relationship of 25 years.
Finally made it legal 10/3/14
Three children 23, 21 and 15.
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post #42 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 01:04 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

The truth comes out! She finally admitted she has feelings for this guy. She wanted to be honest with me but she was scared id blow it up and tell everyone she was a *****. The guy is married. They decided today that the werent gonna talk anymore. She says she feels guilty about possibley having feelings for someone else. I told her I understand our marriage hasn't been the best and I havent been the best husband, but its still wrong and hurtful that she opened herself up. I told her that im no longer going to be the only one trying to saveour marriage. She has until tomorrow night when I get off work to decide if she wants to try and save our family. If I get a no or a wishy wash asnwer I'm filing asap. Im not gonna try at all unless I feel like shes 100% comitted. Even then Im not sure, I might just tell her no, I dont know if I can trust her again.
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post #43 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 01:50 AM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Sorry to hear that bro.
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post #44 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 03:23 AM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Sorry you're going through this. But you know, it takes two to tango, and she needs to fess up to her faults in the marriage too.

All of her complaints against you are mostly revisionist nonsense. She tells herself you are the bad guy so she feels better about her cheating.

If she cant give you an answer, file for D and ask her to move out.

Read through the threads in the CWI section. This affair your wife is having is NOTHING different than those. Same old script, same old story.
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post #45 of 117 (permalink) Old 12-23-2013, 07:11 AM
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Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.

Why are you giving your cheating wife so much power?

This is what I would demand before I even consider R.
1. Full transparency.
2. STDs and pregnancy test. (chances are high this was also a PA)
3. No contact with her affair partner.
4. IC for her.

Regardless the above...the OMs wife needs to know what's going on in her marriage. You don't tell your wife or anyone your exposing....you just do it!!!
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