Re: Wife doesn't want to try anymore.
I'm coming here late. Before I put in my two cents on this situation, I want to say that IMO, women typically leave marriages because they are fed up...not because they have been having an affair. I know this will receive push back because by nature, this website is chock full of BS. But from what I've seen (and because of my own womanly knowledge), men will only initiate leaving if there is already a willing replacement waiting for him. Women will put up with a lot of crap before they walk away, and they are often willing to do it without another man waiting in the wings. In fact, I know several WAW who have never wanted to marry again...and haven't! And no, they're not gay.
A lot of the debate on here as far as PDA shows just how different men and women are. Women want/need/crave/require emotional affection. Whether it's a verbal "I love you" or hand holding, hugs or even a slap on the butt and wink. They need to know you care for them...beyond simply their use as a sex toy. Men KNOW they love their women and don't understand why they have to be so dang demonstrative. Don't try to understand. Just freaking do it! I promise you will get laid a lot more!
As far as OP here, I guess I would want to know the timeline. When did the wife start going to the gym and when did she start pulling away. Was she pulling away already when she met the "friend" or did it start after she started getting attention from Mr. Steroid? It's important to know whether she's a WAW or a cheating &*%$. Basically, is she running TO someone or running FROM you?
Either way, if there is a desire for R, she needs to change gyms, go NC with the man and if you can find out who his wife is, tell her so she can know what's up.