Reading this thread is quite disheartening in general. Especially the comments to the effect of "You need to teach her a lesson."
But yet it's quite common around here. I like to remind myself that when someone hurts us, the knee jerk reaction is to want to lash out and hurt them back. So that's what many do.
Also, that it's just the nature of the internet to encourage tuff guy
talk on almost any subject that elicts strong emotions.
“Teach ‘em a lesson” almost never encourages the spouse to come back, (especially women) and almost always ensures a bitter battle. No one wants either of these things of course, but that’s what they end up getting when they can’t see past their hurt feelings or ego long enough to do something more constructive. For themselves.
Only when we stop playing the victim, forgive, let go of the resentment, and start focusing on bettering ourselves, can we become happier, more attractive people. With or without our partner.
Originally Posted by cbnero
The 180 got me through it and on the road to recovery. I have not been mean or rude to my stbxw, only disconnected.
This sounds healthy to me.
Your previous post sounded like you may be holding some regret for standing / trying / holding out hope, or whatever you want to call it, for a year. If this is the case, why is that?
I think it takes a strong man to show compassion to the one he loves, even when she's not returning that love. For me, that's Real Love. If they choose not to accept it, that's ok... their choice.
Anyone can run and throw sticks as soon as things aren't going the way they want them to be. No strength/love there.