Re: I don't think I want to save my marriage!
hi marie, chat all you like, its not a prob, if you have a look into my profile , you will c a pic of me. atleast u can c who you are emailing . you can always private message me. i dont mind that either.
you can make you relationship better if thats what you both want.
there are times you will want your own space, and so wil he.
at least your honest about not bothereing to go out. thats fine to.
i promise you dont have to be a dr to sort things out.
i dont and havent tried counselling , and believe me my relationship is trying enough at times and we bin together 13 years. but some how and i think its because of my personality and nature, yes i do get down and have depressed moments, but i am a fighter and i will all the way.
i can see what your saying about family, and i see thats very important.
i can see where your coming from on your angles.
but you also have many doubts.
we all change over time and as you know when you change within a relationship, we have to adapt to keep on moving within that relationship.
besides his family, you seem quite isolated.
ok i wil ask you some questions,
i know this is daft but i wrote on this forum to a bloke having a crisis, i asked him for him and his wifes star signs, i promise he actually said it was a good way of healing and coping.
would like me to have a look at you and your hubbys. i will write the details to you.
n e thing is worth a shot.
this is my life in short terms. 1st hubby abusive physically and emotionally. he had affairs all over place. my 2 nd hubby, we split up a few times for different reasons. stress, life in general ,fell out of love and my last one infidelity.
my other issue through was 2nd hubby, very moody and aggressive in tone (short fused) but alot of this was generated through drink and some of his friends endless games to split us up.
with regards to my hubby having the one night stand april 8 08, hubby had only three wks earlier gone onto see our dr who suggested depression,he got paraletic in drink and on these tablets and egged on by mate, who was getin married may 16 08.but i promise i had the most amazing hubby for 3 wks until the event in april. good dad, i havent always seen him as a good husband, and i can relate to some of the things you say.
but we cant have everything. i have times of feeling sick through the stress and losing and gaining weight. times when i love him, i hate him, i want to be single, i want to meet someone else, i want a divorce, a separation.
ok im working through this new issue and the lastest one.
we separated but after our hol in may (the best hol ever) came home to a change of hubby again - did not want to fight for me and im sure you are having those same moments. (this was recent for me). my hubby and i dont have outside lifes. we take our boys out together now and again. since his infidelity issue he has given up the stupid mate and changed in drink, although whatever amount he has, i cant stand seeing him go slurred etc. ( i rarely drink).
i went out every weekend after our issue, but now i have gone back into im ok now. i can understand men, but sometimes i just cant take him for who he is, because i have a woman brain. if that makes sense. we dont have eachothers interests. i have a horse - he no like. i bought him a boat a few yrs ago, i no like.
honestly i probably have a similar life in some of your aspects and i actually look at my marriage and think why the bloody hell are we still together, when we really do come from opposite sides of the planet.
but one thing i make sure we do , is have a holiday every year.
i think that important. i do go out to work events and nights. ok i go with other ppl. yes i do get upset that hubby wont dance with me and stuff like that. we dont have breaks from the children, but we do have a hotel night once in a blue moon.
but personally things are so expensive that when your in a marriage, well you know where the money is better spent, so thats why we forget to do all that stuff.
so here is what i do , my kids are my life, my horse is my hobby, she sets me free from the mundane pressures of life. my favourite colour is green, so i become invisible in the countryside and lanes that we walk through.
hope im not boring you at this point.