01-13-2014, 02:52 AM
Join Date: Jan 2014
| | My husband's inferiority complex.
I was introduced to my husband through my mother. He is a distant family friends of mine and she somehow convinced me that he is the right guy for me. From his side, his father convinced him that he should consider marrying me and he would prefer that my husband abides his advice.
Before marrying my husband, I had been left hurt and broken by my ex-boyfriend of 5 years. So when my mother set me up with my husband, I accept I didn't give it much though and just went on with it.
We got married within an year of meeting each other. One month into our marriage, our personality started to clash a hell lot and he tried to make me more submissive towards him. When he realized I expected equality rather than submission, he started to withdraw completely. Its been 6 months to our marriage and we haven't slept together for the past 3 months.
Last month I finally decided to give my best shot and change myself where I can. And I asked him what he would like me to change about me. To which he said I feel suppressed when with you (I'm more educated than him and I work at a higher position) and he wants me to come to his level of confidence and lose my confidence because for him that seems like a bad attitude. He said I should be more submissive and say yes to things he want us to do and if he is wrong, I shouldn't correct him.
This week I realised this marriage was the biggest mistake of my life because I am losing my true self and I'm going into depression. I feel like he isn't willing to accept me as I am and just wants me to change myself completely so that I suit him better. Recent;y I have started to have suicidal thoughts because I am so unhappy and miserable with him. I don'e feel loved or respected at all; I just feel the pressure to change my self for this marriage to work.
I asked for divorce this week. To which he first agreed and the very next day he said he wants to make this work because he's too scared about what might happen to him once this gets over. He said he feels too scared to take that decision and he just rather keep this marriage going, hoping that things will smooth out by themselves.
I told I am going to give this marriage one month with the last shot. And I will give it all I have, if he is willing to accept me as I am. He said one month is too less and relationships take time to get better. And he doesn't want to get out this because he fears it'll affect his reputation among his friends and family. so it's still about him and his reputation and not about us.
In the end he did agree to the one month. And I am giving this one month to see if he is really willing to make this worth for us. But inside it's killing me and I can't stand him even for a minute.
Was it a mistake giving this failed marriage another shot just for the heck of it?