I'm new and I guess I need 30 posts to be able to post in the Private Forum. I don't want to put too much info here in public view. Let me ask this general question.
Is staying in a long term marriage until kids reach adulthood a bad idea? What about staying solely for financial reasons?
I don't want a divorce. I'd like to work on things but I don't see hubby making an effort. If only one of us is trying, we're doomed right?
I see 32 posts showing by your name now. PM FrenchFry. I think she is a moderator and can move this entire thread to private. Or, you can just start a new thread there and delete this one.
Staying together for the kids isn't the right thing. Kids are smart and pick up on the feelings of the marriage and in the room. By the sounds of it yours are old enough to sense the resentment and anger between you both. D is hard on kids and parents and families no matter what. The key is to help them understand that it's not their fault. This has everything to do with mom and dad, and nothing to do with them. You don't want them growing up with guilt and blaming themselves.
My parents stayed together for the kids - their D was final the month after I graduated HS. The thing that I have hated the most as a result, is leaving home at 18, and no longer having a home. I've also hated that I endured the most, of their unhappiness towards the end. Even at 18 it made me feel unfairly guilty.
Thanks for your perpective Pepper! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know it's not the right thing to do in my heart. It's my fear of being out on my own that has me thinking irrational thoughts.
Things really started to go downhill w/ my parents when I was about the same age as your kids.
My parents pretty much hated each other by my senior year, and 3 months before I graduated he moved out. After they were no longer together, I realized how miserable they had been. They are far, far better apart.
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