I guess we are done :(

xoxopinkxo · 09-22-2010, 06:12 PM

My 1st post has a little back story....

but since Ive been trying, and reading countless marriage books, and working on bettering myself and me as a wife, my husband has grown MORE distant, and still does not want to stop being emotionally connected to the woman he met on FB. I knew, i had a hunch, that my marriage wouldnt get this one last shot unless we were both in 100%, and he told me already he wasnt in 100% yet....I needed to prove I was different, and that I wanted this to work first....which I did. But, now he's slipped further from me, and closer to another. I guess this is it. 5 years with the only person I wanted to spend my life with....over

sisters359 · 09-22-2010, 06:25 PM

If you think it is over, start moving on. That may catch his attention--or not. The real issue is, you will start feeling better. Yes, you've made mistakes, and they have cost you your marriage. But that does not make you a horrible and hopeless person. You have a future--take a "new" you into it. Swear off relationships for a couple of years until you really understand what you need and want from a relationship. Remember, your h was the only person you had met so far who you wanted to spend your life with--but apparently, you didn't really, b/c you were not 100% committed to him for a very long time. You wanted to eat your cake and have it to--and of course, no self-respecting person will put up with that, so he has moved on (although he should have divorced you first). You have another chance, and this time, you will need to make sure the person is someone you really WANT to cherish, someone you will want to be with in the fullest sense of the words. I cannot help but suspect that you loved some things about your h but not everything, which contributed to the marital breakdown, and you fear losing what you had--look at it as an opportunity to find something more. Good luck and God bless.

xoxopinkxo · 09-22-2010, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sisters359

If you think it is over, start moving on. That may catch his attention--or not. The real issue is, you will start feeling better. Yes, you've made mistakes, and they have cost you your marriage. But that does not make you a horrible and hopeless person. You have a future--take a "new" you into it. Swear off relationships for a couple of years until you really understand what you need and want from a relationship. Remember, your h was the only person you had met so far who you wanted to spend your life with--but apparently, you didn't really, b/c you were not 100% committed to him for a very long time. You wanted to eat your cake and have it to--and of course, no self-respecting person will put up with that, so he has moved on (although he should have divorced you first). You have another chance, and this time, you will need to make sure the person is someone you really WANT to cherish, someone you will want to be with in the fullest sense of the words. I cannot help but suspect that you loved some things about your h but not everything, which contributed to the marital breakdown, and you fear losing what you had--look at it as an opportunity to find something more. Good luck and God bless.

oh wow...can i just say THANK YOU!!!! seriously. I mean, thats why I love this site. My friends can give me their opinions, but they are on my side...a total stranger will have an unbias opinion. I think this is exactly what I needed to hear.