Re: Wife wants to be alone.
No time for mere suggestions.
Here is exactly what is going on, and exactly what you need to do:
1. She doesn't want to "be alone" and has never wanted to "be alone". She is having an affair, and wants to be with the affair man. This affair started months ago, exactly the same time "coincidentally" she is saying things like "I need space" or "I don't love you" etc etc etc. This is all smoke and mirrors to cover for her affair.
2. These things she has you believing, that "you didn't do this or that", or "it's "your fault", etc etc. For right now, don't believe a single word of it. Not one word. These things she is saying merely to make you go away, to disappear, to blame you for her infidelity, her lying, her cheating on you with this affair man. She says this because in her emotional "high" of the affair, you are the thorn in the side of her fantasy. These words she is using, right now pay them no heed. Understand this, until her affair is stopped, and I am talking stopped COLD, nothing in this universe will do any good to saving your marriage until she is out of the affair "fog" and clear headed to work on the reality of saving the marriage.
3. Get yourself together, and this means how you behave and act in front your woman. Be strong in front of her. This means just what it says, gather all your strength. Do not beg your woman, do not plead with your woman, do not cry to your woman for any reason at any time over this. It will do nothing to bring her back, and everything to drive her further into the arms of her affair man. Do only things to show your own strength, confidence, and integrity. Right now, locate a marriage councilor and set up an appointment for you and your woman immediately. Contact your woman with the date and time, and insist she goes. If she refuses, that is inconsequential, go yourself. And document this.
4. Confront her about the affair. Insist that it stops immediately and that she focus on saving the marriage. If that doesn't work, next step.
5. Confide in someone you both know and trust about her affair, and have them on your side in the name of saving your marriage, and together insist that the affair stop immediately and her focus on saving the marriage. If that doesn't work, next step.
6. Confide in many people you both know, including friends, your family, and her family. Tell everyone close to both of you that will listen, that you are the good man trying to save your marriage, and that your woman needs to come to her senses to leave this affair man, and focus on saving your marriage. Do this to expose the ugliness of her infidelity, to show the fantasy in her mind is really only something to be embarrassed and ashamed of. If this is ineffective, next step.
7. Contact a lawyer, and make it clear to your woman that you will to whatever it takes to either stop the affair cold, or divorce on YOUR TERMS with YOUR INTERESTS and in YOUR TIME with YOUR INTEGRITY fully in tact.
In this way, yes, it is clearly the route to divorce, and no this doesn't mean it absolutley will be divorce, but no matter at this point this route is what it takes to fight, and fight HARD for your woman.
Which is exactly what you must do.
Make it clear you are 10 times the man of her affair man. Instead, a 100 times the man.
Now is the time for action. Do NOT wait another second for your woman to call the shots, she already has a head start and is moving in the direction that is not good at all for you.
There are many other good men and women on this board that have been down this road, and will help you by far greater than myself. Listen to them, they can help.
I wish you well.