I'm at a a loss here folks - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 08:18 AM Thread Starter
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I'm at a a loss here folks

My wife seems to find it imposable to be honest with me where money is concerned. I am constantly finding letters arriving from Banks etc telling her that she is overdrawn, missed payments etc on her account or CC.
It got so bad a few months back that we ended up taking out a considerable amount on a consolidation loan so that it would free up more money for her and I thought that would be the end of the lies and deceit but the other day another letter arrived telling her that she was overdrawn on her overdraught to the tune of 150, I asked her how long and she told me a week and a half, I also know for a fact that she wouldn't have told me about the letter if she had gotten to the post that morning first.
I'm just so tired of all the lies and having to second guess if she is telling me the truth as only a few days ago I asked her if she was OK for money and she told me she was.
I'm at my wits end and don't want to live my life like this....
We have a 13 month old daughter who I absolutely love to pieces but I'm thinking of a trial separation as to be honest she has lied to me for so long now I don't honestly know how I feel about her anymore.

I'm looking for some help and advice here folks, has anyone else been through this with their other half and what did they do.

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-12-2010, 11:24 AM
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Re: I'm at a a loss here folks

I really feel for you. I've been there and I do understand. My situation was different in some aspects though. My estranged husband and I had a very profitable business together. I first started seeing the financial disaster on the business side side of things long before they had any impact on our personal finances.

Things in my situation got really bad--both cash flow and credit wise. It's bad enough when a spouse gets an excessive spending habit, but the lying which ensues is even worse. My advice to you is to get to the bottom of the spending and see where that leads you. And if possible get a credit report on her. It may list accounts you never knew existed. My estranged husband had all kind of accounts I knew nothing about; the statements were going to other addresses. Above all else you need to get the excessive spending and lying stopped. It will have an impact on you. Begging a spouse to stop rarely helps. They just get better at covering.

Hope you get this figured out.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 11-12-2010, 04:08 PM
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Re: I'm at a a loss here folks

Been there, done that. I ended up getting separate checking accounts. I received and paid all the bills. I deposited a specific amount into her account every month. I began routinely checking my credit reports to make sure no new accounts were being opened.
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