Is this the beginning of the end?

sittenontime · 08-03-2008, 11:30 PM

My husbund and i have been married for 3 years.... He had a business before our marriage and I had two houses completely paid for..... along with some money...... He put me as a co-owner on the business and we took a home equity loan to pay off his debt that he had before he married me.....and also he put money into the business....to make it grow? His name was put on the new equity line loan and the deed to the house since his/our business was the source to repay the loan....We have a 120000 loan on one of the house now..... its worth around 300000..... He now has told me that he wants to take back the business in his own name ..... and give back the houses into my name.... and he says he will pay back 60000 (which is half of the loan) over the next two years...... He feels that he only should pay back half of the loan since the loan was both ours....and I am responsible for half.....He has also told me that he will pay me 1000 per month for the services that i do for the business... office stuff... and also he will pay for all the utilities at the house since this is a at home business.... He made it real clear that he does not want a divorce but just wants to control the business.... that would include all the spending and earning....... when I got married to him I quit my job and went to work with the business...... and now he wants that business back...... The houses are worth quite a bit of money but the business is how we get our food.... is this looking crazy or am I thinking about this all wrong........ I feel like I am getting ripped off.........

our relationship has been fine... pretty good no fighting or anything.... the whole thing started when I got a bill in the mail that he had spent 7900.00 on tires that we did not need..... He said that he told me about this ...... but he didnt.....he said that the tires were going to go up so he bought them...... I told him that its not fair for him to spend money with out talk it over with me..... his wife....his business partner........ I told him that he wouldnt like it if I went out and spend that much money on a RV or something.......so we got over that ......with both of us not talking for a day......and then about three days later I was looking at the business bank account just like I always do every morning...... if fact we were talking on the phone and I replied hey whats th is check for 3000.00 that our accoutant wrote last week..... he said that i would have to talk to her and then he said that he would need to go (stop talking on the phone).... so i emailed our accountant and she told me that my husbund told her to direct deposit 3000.00 into a friends account......... boy was I really upset now....again he didnt even mention this to me..... and he certainly could of....... so I tried to call him back on the phone and he would not answer the phone for two days..... ( he was not home but on business at that time) he then text me and told me that he never could talk to me about money and that he wants to pay back the money that our business owes me and he wants to business in his name and so forth...... The person that he loaned the money for is just a friend who needs help leaving her husbund...... he has know her for 30 years....... I do not know her.....he told me to talk all the business stuff over to the accountant and that he and the accountant will run the business and my role is to help dispatch him.....( he drives long haul and we own our truck which is a show truck and seems like a money pit...) that is why he wants to pay me 1000 per month to dispatch him so he can still make money......yet he doesnt want a divorice and just tells me that I dont understand business and that he wants to make the decisions on where the money goes...... he simply does not want me to be a part of the business but just stay at home dispatch him a couple of times a week and thats it....... I went to a lawyer and I am having paper work done for him to sign giving me the houses back and I am giving him the business back......all legal and of course he will be signing paper work that he will pay for half the mortgage on the house...... I feel like I put a lot of money into the business the last 3 years and now I have been fired almost from making more money.......I do love him but I am wondering if this is a exit stratagy for him ....... he tells me that he doesnt want to leave but wants to run the business .....thats it....... I guess I better start finding a new career....... what do you think......

ljtseng · 08-03-2008, 11:48 PM

Of course i dont know that much about your situation but from what you've written it doesnt sound to me like he wants out. It sounds like he wants to be able to spend money however he wants without being questioned about it. Sounds like he's just feeling controlled.

maybe the goal for your husband to own his own business was free rein on financial success, and the liberty to do what he wants with the assets.

I can understand why you're upset. It does sound like he's being unfeeling in how he's treating your investment in the business. Have you sat down and talked to him about how he's treating you? How you are upset because you gave up your job for him and his business? That you feel he's being insensitive to ask you to cut your own pay and perform these other tasks? he might just be so single minded right now that he's not even aware of how this is affecting you.

draconis · 08-13-2008, 03:01 AM

A marriage is a partnership, and since you are putting everything into the business I don't see why you should have to give anything up, plus only a $1000 a month what does he get after you get minumum wage?

draconis