11-23-2010, 10:23 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
| | Re: i've been married almost 3 months now
I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I have been married about 11 months, and my husband is very controlling as well. Unlike you, my husband was this way before we were married but I was silly enough to ignore it. He always kept me "in line" by saying "if you want to do that, then i guess we shouldn't be together". Looking back I wish I would have said fine and left.
Like you, I keep thinking this is not what I want my life to be like. I can't imagine enduring it for another year much less 10 or 20. I absolutely resent my husband for making me change. In the past 3 years, I have completely changed to meet his idea of perfect. Now when I try to talk to him about it, he turns everything around on me. He will literally make me feel awful for telling him that I feel like I missed out on my life for the last 3 years. His response will be "you just make me feel like I'm some terrible person" Of course then I feel bad so I drop it.
The worst part is I have met someone else. Someone who likes me for who I am, not who I want him to be. I feel that the new man is absolutely the type of person I should be married to. I look forward to the kind of life we could have, it's the life I always dreamed of but gave up on. I feel like I settled with my husband b/c i didn't think there were better men out there.
Now the problem is getting up the courage to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Have you talked about your feelings with your husband at all? How did it go? Doo you sometimes think you just made a huge mistake saying "I do" and wish you could go back in time and skip all of it??
I don't have much advice, but I can tell you the longer it goes on the more you will resent him.