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Old 08-04-2008, 03:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My wife left while I was at work and will not talk to me...

Please be patient. 

On Wednesday, July 31, I came home and my wife and kids were gone. My neighbors told me that she appears to be going to a shelter of some kind.

A day or so later, I got a restraining order from the sheriff’s office. On the restraining order I got a court date and a brief explanation on why she got a restarting order.

A few weeks back my and my families were at a Drive in Movie Theater. There were 2 shows that night and in between the 1st show and the 2nd show, we decided to leave cause our kids were getting sleepy. While I was putting my 3 year old in the car seat, I noticed that the car seat was not buckled in with the seat belt. It was just sitting there. The day before, my wife was cleaning out the car and she evidently forgot to put the seat back in correctly. I then asked my wife why she has been driving around with the car seat like that. She denied it and then we started arguing. Just a normal argument, nothing heated, just going back and forth while we were cleaning up our area after the movie. We then started talking about how pissed we were and I said, “If you want me to end this, I will”. She started YELLING, “Do it, Do it, Do it”. You have to understand we are in a theater and its quiet and everyone is looking. I was putting an unopened can of soda in the cup holder and before I did that I reached over, extended my index finger and “touched the side of her forehead” and said “Quiet!”. I JUST touched her. Same kind of pressure when you do the “L” sign on your forehead when you yell “looser” to someone.

It was not forceful or violent. I love my wife and kids too much to want to hurt them.

This was about 3 weeks ago.

On the restraining order, she stated that I “smashed a can of soda on the side of her head”. My lawyer looked at that and said the judge believes that I took the can and physically smashed it on the side of her head.

A week or so later, my 11 year old son was helping me move a 27” HD TV to my mother’s house. He was in charge of making sure it didn’t tilt over. He got distracted and it tilted and the TV fell on the side walk and exploded. I reached for him to grab him to put him in front of me so I could scold him and he was bending down to get the TV and when I reached for his shoulder my open hand glanced off his shoulder and my hand grazed the side of his neck. He was upset about the TV and I was scolding him for it and he got very upset. I shouldn’t of made him upset like that and I know it. My wife got upset and this is probably why she is gone.

She will not call me or talk to me. I love my 3 kids and my wife deeply and I miss them very much. I would NEVER go anything to hurt my children.

Over the past week I’ve been to therapy and counseling for anger management. I have signed me and my wife up for therapy and I’m hoping that she goes when I get to see her at our court date.

I know I need anger management, cause the words that I say and how I say them can hurt in so many ways.

I love all my children and my wife. I live for them and that is the reason GOD put me here on this earth. There is not another man involved so I wanted everyone to know that.

I created a website that has a letter on it to her to show her how I feel. I just created it today so there is basically nothing on it.

I am so sorry

Any advice?
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Old 08-04-2008, 04:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left while I was at work and will not talk to me...

Was your wife physically abused when she was a child?
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Old 08-04-2008, 04:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left while I was at work and will not talk to me...

No she wasn't. She has had some abusive boyfriends. I can understand that.

I want to reiterate. She is my life and love.

I live for her and my family.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left while I was at work and will not talk to me...

DO you realize that at the very least that you are verbally abusive and that can be/feel worse then physical abuse?

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Old 08-14-2008, 11:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife left while I was at work and will not talk to me...

I can see now- she has decided to put her foot down with you. The other guys she probably let slide-Oh, no not you ! I have seen this before- Chick has dated all kinds of gang bangers, jerks, you name it -all are abusive ,and would never get restraining orders ,etc. . But with the guy that actually loves the Chick ,and just alittle argument , etc. ( Nothing like an episode of COPS ) get the police, court dates, etc. Good luck with this one. Go with Drac on this one .
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