12-25-2010, 03:17 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
| | Re: If both parties agree to marriage councilling, what are the odds of succcess?
Good luck with the counseling. Counseling helped us somewhat, but then it broke down after a while. Our counselor operated off a "triage" theory for marriage counseling -- focus on the complaints and issues of the one who identified the marriage as being "broken." Thus, we started out solely focused on my wife's complaints. That seemed reasonable, but it continued that way indefinitely. Eventually I concluded it was hurting more than it was helping -- encouraging my wife to find fault so she could recount my list of failures every meeting. I came to the conclusion that it would never change and that there would be nothing left of me if I continued. So, I told my wife I'd happily try anything that offered hope of working, but this wasn't it. So, we quit that and things were OK for a year or two. Then, they went down hill again. We tried one counseling session a few months ago, but when the counselor wanted to talk about BOTH of our issues, my wife was NOT happy. So, she loves counseling as long as all we talk about his her wants and my failings.