Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: Pregnant and going through a divorce
There is a very special place in the hearts and minds of those of us who pray, for those of you in such trying circumstances.
One beautiful thing in all of this--you will be able to focus all your time and energy on your kids. You will no longer have the distraction of a partner who does not deserve the privilege of licking the bottom of your shoe.
It may be hard to do this, but please get help for your daughter (and eventually your son) who will suffer feelings of abandonment--and remember that trashing her father, ever, in front of her, will add to her pain. You do not have to lie for him or make excuses, but do not give in to the urge to blame him. Best to say things like, "I don't understand his actions either, honey, and I'm sorry I cannot be more help with this. But you and I did nothing wrong, and we deserve better treatment. We are good and lovable people." Emphasize it isn't her fault, that you cannot answer for him, and that she is a good and lovable person who deserves better. Remember, you are too!
This is a really good time to rely on family and friends, esp. girlfriends. Share a household to make things easier--and use the resources available in your community. Good luck and God bless!