My husband and I got married just over 4 months ago. We hadn't been together too long before that, but we had the same goals, and were brought up in the same culture and atmosphere, but now that we've been married for awhile I've discovered things about him I never knew before, and he's not on his best behavior anymore.
He doesn't wear his wedding ring nor does he tell people he's married. He's lied before to girls about visiting me when I worked out of town, and said he was going somewhere else on a business trip. He claims it's because he doesn't tell people about his private life, but if it comes down to pleasing his wife, shouldn't he be wearing his ring?
Now that Christmas is rolling around, he doesn't want me to attend some of his business parties that he's been invited to. The ones where there are people I've met is ok, but the other ones he doesn't want me to go to.
I wouldn't consider myself unattractive or unsocial by any means, and I can adapt to almost any social setting so I have no idea why he wouldn't want me there, if just to show off his new wife!
Because of his previous lying, I've taken away all his privacy by checking his phone and emails, etc. I also said he couldn't go out with a certain girl friend of his that stated in one of her emails "you should come over when your wife is being crazy, haha." We got into a big fight about it but he agreed it was for the best in the end.
Everytime we argue, we get nowhere because each of us are not listening to the other. I admit, I always think I'm right and I do not believe for one bit I am the cause of 50% of our problems.
Because of this, our sex life has gone down the tube as I'm already busy enough with school and him with work, and both of our friends don't think we should be together. We used to thrive in entertaining our guests but now that his other friend (a girl again) has betrayed me (she said I could call if I needed to talk and changed everything I said to relay to him) he said we shouldn't hang out with each other's friends anymore at all.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable most of the time, because he claims I am and he said ALL his friends think I'm being unreasonable, but my idea of getting married was to shout out to the world our joyous day, and to share our lives with each other, with no secrets.
Yet he is still hiding things from me, and excluding me from his "work" life. I made the point that if he didn't want me at work stuff, then he shouldn't be included in my school life, such as graduation. And he was ok with that..... If it was me, I would want to attend my spouse's graduation but I'm not a man, and I don't claim to know how men think.
I don't know if this was a warning sign, but his mom said to me, "We are so relieved he married you. You are so strong and independent, and you can take care of our son. Now we don't have to worry about him so much anymore."
I don't want to be a babysitter
Is it normal for newlyweds to argue ALL the time?
He doesn't wear his wedding ring nor does he tell people he's married. He's lied before to girls about visiting me when I worked out of town, and said he was going somewhere else on a business trip. He claims it's because he doesn't tell people about his private life, but if it comes down to pleasing his wife, shouldn't he be wearing his ring?
Now that Christmas is rolling around, he doesn't want me to attend some of his business parties that he's been invited to. The ones where there are people I've met is ok, but the other ones he doesn't want me to go to.
I wouldn't consider myself unattractive or unsocial by any means, and I can adapt to almost any social setting so I have no idea why he wouldn't want me there, if just to show off his new wife!
Because of his previous lying, I've taken away all his privacy by checking his phone and emails, etc. I also said he couldn't go out with a certain girl friend of his that stated in one of her emails "you should come over when your wife is being crazy, haha." We got into a big fight about it but he agreed it was for the best in the end.
Everytime we argue, we get nowhere because each of us are not listening to the other. I admit, I always think I'm right and I do not believe for one bit I am the cause of 50% of our problems.
Because of this, our sex life has gone down the tube as I'm already busy enough with school and him with work, and both of our friends don't think we should be together. We used to thrive in entertaining our guests but now that his other friend (a girl again) has betrayed me (she said I could call if I needed to talk and changed everything I said to relay to him) he said we shouldn't hang out with each other's friends anymore at all.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable most of the time, because he claims I am and he said ALL his friends think I'm being unreasonable, but my idea of getting married was to shout out to the world our joyous day, and to share our lives with each other, with no secrets.
Yet he is still hiding things from me, and excluding me from his "work" life. I made the point that if he didn't want me at work stuff, then he shouldn't be included in my school life, such as graduation. And he was ok with that..... If it was me, I would want to attend my spouse's graduation but I'm not a man, and I don't claim to know how men think.
I don't know if this was a warning sign, but his mom said to me, "We are so relieved he married you. You are so strong and independent, and you can take care of our son. Now we don't have to worry about him so much anymore."
I don't want to be a babysitter
Is it normal for newlyweds to argue ALL the time?