My parents have been married for over 20 years. With the poor economy and a host of other issues, they have starting arguing a lot. I have heard them threaten to each other that maybe they need to spend some time apart. I am really worried about both of them. They have been happily married since I can remember and I have never seen them fight like this. I have suggested couples counseling to them a few times. I was wondering if anyone has ever been to couples counseling? Did it seem to help your marriage? Anyone with some advice out there I would really appreciate it.
My wife and I went through couples counseling last year and it really helped us get our issues out on the table. Also gave us some direction to help recover the marriage. It didn’t fix everything but it did help. I strongly recommend it to all couples who are having serious difficulty.
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Amp
Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.
I also recommend it, just make sure they find a good fit for them. Cousling in general can be a great tool in the right situaion if both people are willing to work for it.
At this point, counseling would be a great place to start. My husband and I went to couples counseling for a couple of months. It helped, but we got to a point where we weren't making any progress. We are going to separate counselors now. We had 24 years worth of issues to resolve. We actually seem to be making more progress now. Also, give your parents a copy of the book, The Five Love Languages. I can't say enough good things about the book! Had I read that book five years ago, my husband and I probably wouldn't be separated and going to counseling.
draconis 1973 made a good point. The key factor is that both partners are open and willing to the counseling. My husband and I went to counseling a few times, but he didn't like talking about stuff. I think it did help us some, but I wish he would have been more willing to go to counseling for the duration. We are still having a lot of the same problems. I think marriage is hard work and after you've been married awhile, you start to lose the motivation to make the effort. I hope everything works out.
My husband and I just went to our first session last night... and trust me, he is the most skeptical person , but he tried it... and already, our therapist brought out so much things we've neglected to see... She gave us pointers of how to help our relationship, and basically giving us a different view of things...
I have to say, when couples are in the middle of not getting along, its very easy to view things very negatively. Seeing the therapist made both of us see that there is still room for trying.... I recommend it 110%!
It does help but only if both parties involved are willing to put all their effort into it. If one is there and one isn't, it will not help -- it can actually just blow things up even more.
Also, its important to find a good councelor. One who will be involved not just sit there and "Uh-huh" through the entire session. A type of mediator to help your parents get things out in the open, then to direct the conversation towards a compromise for the both of them.
It is definitely worth a shot, especially for a couple who have been together for so long...
Good luck,
Pamela
glad i found this post...my wife went last week after i began going for myself. she has chosen to begin going every week, in fact the therapists (plural, his wife works with him on couples) made room for us in their schedule.
reason i say i'm glad i found this post is it answered a bunch of questions i had: mainly- did it help? our first session was so tense, i could hardly stand it. but it DID bring out things that were otherwise unspoken. i look forward to next week's session. sort of.
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separated, honoring wife daily with AA, counseling, she deserves the best me i can give her.
4 kids g16, g11, g10(happy b-day molly mouse), b5
Last edited by voivod; 09-22-2008 at 03:01 AM.
Reason: punctuation/spelling
Couples Counseling
