Past love hurting marriage

OneConfusedGirl · 08-14-2008, 02:44 PM

Thank you for the advice. I agree.

draconis · 08-14-2008, 03:02 PM

Okay from my point of view:

You are a self fulfilling prophesy. Any problem and you turn to an emotional affair with your ex and instead of your energy going into your marriage it goes against it and builds resentment. The only way I see that ou can fix your marriage is to cut all ties once and for all and put all our energy into the marriage.

If our husband is a good father and can take care of the girls himself why don't you get a job and lessn the strain on him? He is working seven days a week and is exhausted, and maybe even depressed.

He even senses the truth to what is distracting you from the marriage. I am sure it is hard on him to handle.

As long as you continue the emotional afair the more likely you will be tempted to cheat.

draconis

OneConfusedGirl · 08-14-2008, 03:10 PM

Trust me, there are days I would love to go back to work but for financial reasons right now it's better that I stay home. Day care is way too expensive where we are now and no matter what, my husband would still work the long hours, plus he is on call 24 hours a day so he needs to be able to leave the house on short notice..

draconis · 08-14-2008, 03:13 PM

My suggestion then would be to try to make the most out of every moment ou have together. My wife and I have always worked different shifts so that a parent was home to watch the kids. It was a hard choice and a normal day we se each other less then you and your husband do, however we make the most of every minute we have together.

draconis

Amplexor · 08-14-2008, 03:19 PM

I agree with Drac. You are engaged in an emotional affair and as long as you are you will not see any improvements in your marriage or your feelings toward your husband. As mean as this might sound your husband’s suspicions are on the money. You have continued this relationship on and off for the duration of your marriage. I have been in his shoes in this and it is very difficult, painful and damaging to the marriage. As tough as it may be you will need to cut all communications with the XBF forever and let him know that. Work on improving your marriage and your communication with your husband. Working that many hours is tough on any marriage. Make time for your selves as a couple and hopefully things will improve. God luck.