So Unhappy In My Marriage
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default So Unhappy In My Marriage

Hi All,
I am new here..My marriage is a disaster.My husband can be very selfish.He goes to work,and comes home,now and then he will hoover and mop the floors,which takes all of 15 mins,but thats it.We have been married for 7 years,and he has never as much as put a nail in the wall,or decorated.He goes to work,then comes home and just watches TV,same at the weekends.He will wake up and put tv on,and sit there all day.The week days is fine,but every weekend is the same,its no life.He has never even cooked me an evening meal,he says he cannot cook.I had a Heart Attack 5 years ago,and still even straight out of hospital,I cooked breakfast lunch and evening meal.I was told to rest,but if i had not of cooked I would not of had any meal that was healthy,or would have my 14 year old son at the time.My husband was off work for nearly two months,and did not do a thing,so when he went back to work i had so much to do.I also have athritis,so i find it hard to do certain jobs around the house,but i do all the housework as best as i can.I cannot pull furniture out to clean,when i mentioned this to my husband,he said "Whats the point of cleaning behind furniture,you cannot see the dirt" UGH?
We argue all the time,I do alot of crying,as i feel so alone,we dont have sex anymore,my husband has been sleeping on the sofa for around two years.There have been times when I have tried to make our marriage work,by making romantic meals for us both candles,I have run a bath for my husband,when he has come home from work,put candles around the bath,lovley bath salts for him..He has never ever done anything romantic for me.I even put his bath robe in the tumble dryer in the winter so that he was warm and cosy getting out of the bath to relax in.
I asked him "Why do you not ever show me any romance"His reply was "How many couples do you see being romantic with each other after 7 years"My heart sank..I am 53 he is 52,I would still like some romance,and not feel so taken for granted.
I have been upstairs sobbing and he has known this,yet at times he is just watching tv,and eating a sandwich.Also when he is watching tv,i have tried to start a conversation up with him,and i have caught him rolling his eyes,because i have disturbed his tv viewing I have screamed at him,hit him,tried to talk to him,nothing works.I know hitting is not good,but I have got so angry at him,for making me feel so worthless.I have not behaved very well towards him in the past,as i have been so frustrated at him well...It seems he is just not caring or interested in my feelings at all.I have begged for him to listen to me,and he is either just ignoring me,watching tv,or on the computer.He even just looks at the tv guide on the tv,while i am in tears trying to talk to him.
I have now told him that i dont love him anymore,he says "Yes you do other wise you would not cook and wash clothes for me???I now dont want sex with him,or want him here with me..Yet he will then throw up.."Oh Yeah and who is going to pay the morgage for you"?I feel like every day is ground hog day,and am so depressed,can anybody give me some advice what to do?
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: So Unhappy In My Marriage

Meant to say that the week days are fine to me him coming home and watching tv,as he has been working all day...but every holiday or weekend he watches tv all day.
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Old 12-30-2010, 07:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: So Unhappy In My Marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by paige2 View Post
I have screamed at him,hit him,tried to talk to him,nothing works.I know hitting is not good,but I have got so angry at him,for making me feel so worthless.I have not behaved very well towards him in the past,as i have been so frustrated at him well...It seems he is just not caring or interested in my feelings at all.
i have this battle with my H. i lose it too when i feel like my H has shut off on me. i dont know what it is but i feel i have to do anything to get him to respond. of course in the end nothing works.

are you trapped with him? it sounds like he knows you are and so he doesnt care what you say. one thing is for sure, you have to stop doing things for him.
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