I posted a thread outlining the problems in my marriage hereBipolar Wife
To sum it up, my wife has bipolar disorder and a volatile temper along with other issues making it impossible for us to live together. She has not worked since the birth of our 8 year old daughter.
We met with a couple of attorneys at a law office today, and I am pretty disturbed with what they said. They spoke to my wife alone at first because there was some confusion regarding what we were there for. They thought we wanted a collaborative divorce (in which case they would only be able to represent one of us) when in fact we were interested in mediation.
When they brought me into the meeting, they had already dreamed up a scenario that they thought would be equally beneficial. This consisted of us living together for 3 years after our divorce while my wife went to school, got a job, and got on her feet.
I would also not have to pay any sort of spousal or child support since they are still in the same house. I explained that there is no way this would work because the arguments, etc. would still be a problem. The only thing that would change is that we would no longer be legally married. They said that after the divorce our attitudes towards each other would change, and we should set up a schedule so that we wouldn't have to see each other very much to avoid possible conflicts. They also stated that if we went to court, the judge would give full custody of our daughter to my wife and order her to get a job and me to pay child support. Otherwise I would need to provide some numbers indicating that I would be able to support them. I'm not sure what was discussed about my income, but they seemed to be under the impression that I am financially destitute. I figured we could have joint custody of our daughter and she would get half of the equity in our house(I purchased the home before we met but put her on the deed a couple of years ago), bank account, 401K, etc. and I would help her out with an agreed upon monthly payment while she got on her feet.
This sounds like a nightmare. I don't think I even want to consider using this law office at all. Too bad they were recommended by our counselor. I