ku1980rose

We had our biggest blow out of all time last night on our way home from my FIL's house after super bowl. It was bad. We both said a lot of terrible things and I am definitely not proud of myself for the things I said and did. But, I really think it is over. We were married this summer in July and have been married for a little over 6 months. I know the first year is supposed to be the most difficult, but it shouldn't be like this. We don't seem to like each other at all. We've had sex 3 times in 6 months. There are just too many things wrong with our relationship. This is my 1st marriage and his 2nd. He has 2 kids from his previous marriage that he never sees. This is becoming a problem with me and making it very difficult for me to be attracted to him and want to have children with him. I guess it should've been a red flag from the start, but I was blind to it and believed everything was ok. Now, I'm seeing it is not. I don't want to waste my time in this relationship if it's not going to go anywhere. I want to have a family, and I don't see that happening with him.

Last night he said he was going to go file for divorce today. I think he said it out of anger and won't truly do it, but maybe he should. I don't know how to pick up and move on now. I know I"m not the only one who has gone through this, but I still think "why me?"

Where should we go from here?

breathe

You know who & how he is, looks like you made a mistake, join the club. You can't change/fix him to be the man you want him to be. I'm sure there were red flags before you got married. You knew he never saw the kids before you married him, but I suppose you thought you could change him or convince him otherwise to be a better parent (just my opinion). Based on what you posted, he is who he is, you we're hiding who you really are & what you really want out of a relationship by thinking you could mold or change him.

sisters359

Major Misfit (another poster on this site) has a line from Maya Angelous that says something like, "The first time someone shows you what they are really like, believe them." Of course you saw he didn't have a relationship with his kids, but you wanted to believe that wasn't the "real" him. Well, it was, and you are very wise to be willing to admit to such a mistake and make changes accordingly. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Whatever you do, don't have kids with him!