oceanotter

Me and my husband have been fighting over my inlaws for a long time.They have talked about me said things that were not true ,said things about my children and he still defends them.I always feel like i am second to them and I feel he should be loyal to me.He wants me to go back to speaking to my inlaws but I cant forget or forgive what they have done and how they have treated me.Any advice.Ilove him but I cant deal with them any more.

draconis

Well you both have to learn to communicate better and respect each others boundries. Neither of you are being fair.

draconis

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MarkTwain

We have some friends round the corner, and both set of in-laws are EVIL. I think once people marry, the original parents should take a back seat. And if they won't, then you have to make distance. If your hubby wants to spend multiple hours per week in touch with them, fine, but don't let him drag you into it.

The golden rule is that unless you were wey wey out of line, he should always take your side and stand up for you in front of them. Insist on this.

As draconis says, you should communicate at length on this issue. But I am hard line about this one. In-laws can wreck a marriage. And by definition, over attentive, interfering in-laws are marriage wreckers. Why don't they concentrate on their own marriage?

Good luck

oceanotter

thank you for the input.I wish I knew what to do but he wont go to counselling.I dont want to lose him but I ahve tried talking to him and he just changes the subject or finds some way to avoid being here and dealing with our problems.