Update...

freeshias4me · 09-03-2008, 02:40 PM

Just to let you know...
(Rambling thread)...
I just came back home on Monday for the second time.
I had left my husband, and came back, left again, and came back..
The first time...It's because he was drinking and gambling so much. I came back after a week, with him promising he'd stop drinking. That lasted about 4 days.
Then he started up drinking again (not getting completely drunk, just tipsy)...But he was treating me VERY badly. Told me I was a bad mother, that I was stupid, and not normal.

I know I'm not ANY of those things. (Except the not so normal part.LOL)
Anyhow.. I'm back after almost 2 weeks, with him promising he's going to treat me better.
I do believe in giving people 2nd and 3rd (and more) chances, as long as they keep trying...
The problem is, I'm scared to get too emotionally close to him again...
The other problem is, no matter how much better he gets, I will always remember what he said, and the fact that he said those insults, means he at least partially does believe those insults in his heart.
Any thoughts?

Amplexor · 09-03-2008, 03:13 PM

If he is making an honest effort at this time and you are already back I would recommend that you see this chance through, however make him aware it is the last time. Because you have left and come back before he may just be playing you again. Sorry, that is my bet here. If he is serious and continues to consistently behave like a husband, lover and partner should it will then be on your shoulders to forgive him, bring down the walls and move forward in the relationship. Hurtful behavior and verbal abuse takes time to get over but as you said you are willing to give him a chance to redeem himself. Be careful and proceed with caution, your instincts are correct. You are protecting yourself because you have been burned before. Good luck