02-21-2011, 05:49 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
| | Re: second marriages
Get to MC if you can.
I think you both love eachother and can make it work. You definitely have issues to discuss.
I agree with your husband that your son should not contact you. Any help you give him while he is still on drugs is enabling him to continue to be on drugs.
I don't know that I would be able to cut contact with a son, but its not right that your son is driving these issues between you two.
Your husband it probably hurt and angry about your son and lack of sex and isn't able to give you small gestures. It would be great if you could give your husband sex and he could give you gestures and what important to him, but you are both probably too hurt to do that at this point.
Again, if you can get into MC and talk about your issues, I think you can make it work and be happy. Your husband still finds you attractive and wants to have sex with you (he gropes you) and you still love him (send him little things). Look into love language stuff, and try to do what makes the OTHER person feel love and make sure they know to do what makes YOU feel loved. MC is hard work. Especially since you are both stressed from your jobs and over your son (who is treating you both like SH*T by stealing from you and treating you like this). You can turn this around and be happy again.
As a man in a marriage, it is hard to describe how important sex is to the health of my marriage. At the same time, I KNOW how extremely important it is to my wife that I show her love though keeping the house clean, making food, and suppoting her (acts of service in love language). We both watch this closely to make the other person happy
If your husband wrote a post, I'm sure it would read something like
-I love my wife
-Our son has added huge stress to our relationship
-Lack of sex makes it hard for me to show love to my wife. I know she wants me to do x,y, and z, but can't with us both arguing.
-When we talk, it doesn't go well and I don't want to bring up issues and fight.
I really think you can make this work. Stay strong and Best of Luck.
Last edited by anx; 02-21-2011 at 06:02 PM.