09-13-2008, 09:52 AM
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
| | Re: I am so bored...I want out! Help!
Brad...you may have said some things that I need to hear, but your approach is rude and offensive. I am not receptive to anyone who treats me this way. What are you so bitter about?
Draconis...you are right, I need to figure out what's holding me back. Last night I went to see a movie by myself (The Women), and when I left, the tears finally started rolling. It really made me start thinking about what I want. So, I got some wine and chocolate, came back to the hotel and listened to music, danced, and just had fun. (embarrassing...but I don't care.) This is what I've been missing...the old me who liked to have fun. After I got tired and nauseous from all the wine and fun I was having, I sat down and wrote out "What do I want?" I realized that what I do conflicts with what I want...a real epiphany for me.
I woke up this morning knowing what I needed to do. My first thought was "Do you remember when...?" I got up and wrote about "our" history. I used to write poetry and stuff for my husband all the time...but somewhere along the way I lost my passion for everything in my life. Anyway, it starts out asking the questions "Do you remember when...?" and then on the back I wrote all the special things I remember about our love history.
I'm picking him up today at 5:00 for a date and I'll be sharing all of this with him. I really want to start living life again.
What's been holding me back is fear...I know because fear has always been my nemesis. I came across a scripture that said (I don't have my Bible handy), but something about there being no fear in love. The two just don't go together. By letting go of the fear, I am free to do anything I choose, including loving my husband and those around me.
I don't know how things will work out...but I am hopeful that this will be a fresh start for us. I just have to remember to find joy in my life every day...no matter what the circumstances.
MT- I know that you, Draconis, and many other supporters care based on the constant support, ideas, and "tough love" I have received. I don't think I would have made it to this point without that support. I am truly grateful for all of you...even the negative ones. I will keep you posted on our progress and I'll definitely be on the forum to support others.
Last edited by guiltygirl; 09-13-2008 at 03:05 PM.