My husband and I started dating in highschool and got married 3 yrs ago. A month before we got married, I cheated on him. Realizing what a mistake it was, we got back together and got married. Three yrs later (about 6 months ago) I cheated on him again and confessed to him because he said if I were cheating on him, he would divorce me. After I told him, he wanted to work on our marriage. I didn't want to but agreed to it. (Now we've been together a total of ten yrs and have a 1 yr old child) I told him I wanted a divorce, then changed my mind. Then told him I wanted a divorce again. I gave him the reasons I am not happy with the marriage, but did not tell him i am cheating again with the same person from a few months ago. We decided that we could afford to divorce when the taxes came back and I've been eagerly awaiting this time. Well, I can file for divorce now, but dont feel as strong of an urge to do it as before. I am terribly afraid of being alone as I have never been before. He has lived with me since I was in highschool. (Yes, my mom allowed that). I thought I loved him, but if I can continue to cheat without remorse then maybe I don't. I think that the fact that I cheated on him 3 yrs ago shows that I was unhappy and our marriage began with problems that were ignored and our relationship continued to deteriorate. Do I keep changing my mind about the divorce because I'm afraid? Shouldn't I know for 100% certainty what I want?