Husband is considering divorce over step-son's lies!
I truly need help. My husband is considering divorcing me over my step-son's lies.
We have been married for over 6 years now, and have two children (2&5 yrs) together and he has two children (11&12 yrs) from a previous marriage, therefore I have 4 children. At least that is the way I saw things until recentally when I was informed that I was not allowed to be a part of our older boy's lives.
See, my husband's ex-wife and her husband of 6 years and my husband are the only one's that have any say in the boys lives regarding discipline, school activies, school parent teacher functions, etc. The only thing I am allowed to do is be there to watch them when they need someone *for the last 6 years* and make sure they are fed everyday and have clean clothes, and the same clothes they came in when they return home. That is my limit.
Up to a couple of weeks ago, my 11 yr old step-son started to really disrespect me. I would tell him to go get in the tub, and he would just look at me like he could spit on me, and walk away in the opposite direction. I have asked him to stop physically fighting with his younger 5 yr old brother over 6 times in a half hour, and he would just look at me and ignore everything I said. Therefore I was punishing our 5 yr old but I can't do anything to the 11 yr old? So, the 7th time it happened, I had both of them scrub the kitchen floor, being I was cleaning all day anyway... thinking that it would be a punshment that they would both realize it was no fun to NOT listen to my words... Well, he went running back to his mother, and now she hates me. All of a sudden my husband can't stand to look at me, nor talk to me. He has yelled at me about how awful and nasty I am to our 11 yr old child, oh and then reminding me that he is not mine he is my STEP-SON, so get it through "MY HEAD"! His logic is that I am extra mean to the 11 yr old because he is his mom's favorite, and that he looks like his mother, so I am focused on being mean to him because of who he looks like. That is not the case. I asked then why am I not mean to the 12 yr old then? The answer was because he looks like my husband, not his ex-wife.
My thing is: My step-son disrespects me. He has been doing this for the last couple of weeks, and now it's gotten to the point where when I spoke with my husband regarding this disrespect, he placed all the blame on me. He said that my step-son only treats me disrespectful because I treat him that way. I have always spent so much time with him. I have always treated all four fairly and equal. I could tell my husband something that my 11 yr old and 5 yr old did that was wrong, and he would tell me that I am yet again attacking his child because of my antomosity toward his ex-wife. He is not taking care of the situation, but placing blame on me.
When my husband does actually confront our 11 yr old on his behavior, "his" son *remember I am not allowed to feel they are mine* will sit there and deny anything I said if it is against him, and my husband will believe it, and attack me for being too hard on him, or too mean.. or singling him out..
Now, he is saying that he wants to get a divorce so he doesn't have to put "HIS" child through my attitude and disrespect. He does not see that this is a 11 yr old playing games with our lives. OUR 11 yr old will do things purposly, and get me upset then tell his father that I was being mean for no reason. Now my husband wants to divorce me because of MY attitude. Please keep in mind, we do have two younger children as well, together. What do I do?
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Re: Husband is considering divorce over step-son's lies!
