09-16-2008, 06:05 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
| | Re: Manipulation
Originally Posted by swedish
I think you will achieve all you need in return if you drop the 'right'/'wrong' thinking and just take him for his word when he tells you what he needs, and give it to him...You will probably get what you need in return without even having to ask because he will be feeling good when he's around you.
As far as him manipulating you with threats of hurting himself and his 'pity party', ya he is manipulating you. thats not just in your head. If you keep giving him attention when he treats you that way, then he's getting what he wants. if he does those things just ignore him. Before it gets to that point, though, let him know what will and will not get your attention. let him know that you love him but when he does those things it is abusive and you will not respond, not because you dont love him, but because he is manipulating you. But always give an alternative to communicate with you so he doesnt feel hopeless. Make sure you let him know, every time it happens (because it will keep happening until you learn to ignore it) that you love him and want to communicate with him, just in a healthier way.