Re: Wife gave me ultimatum last night
From what I have seen here, I think I need to urge you to consider the situation from her perspective. Children are very important to her, that was clear from the start, and you DID promise her that they would be important to you as well. Six years is absolutely an incredibly long time to wait, especially when she has probably been itching to have children that whole time while you found reasons not to. Perhaps you are right about it not being the best time right now due to various pressures on the two of you at the moment, but that just means that you already skipped over better times to have started having kids in the past and I agree with your wife, bad time or not, you really need to make a decision.
Her internal clock is ticking, after six years I don't think anyone could blame her for feeling somewhat betrayed that you have put off kids for this long, something which she clearly identified as being very important to her. Frankly, it sounds like you have been pretty selfish about it. Honestly it would be different if you had made clear from the start that you didn't want kids, but early 30's? There is no way that any of this is a surprise to you. There is no such thing as a perfect time, surely you have been told that a hundred times by now. I agree it isn't exactly great that she has issued you an ultimatum, but ultimately she is expressing that this is a boundary for her. You promised her a child, you have delayed keeping your promise for far too long so in my view, if you love and value her, you owe her a child (to the best of your ability that is).
The truth is that whether it is a "bad time" or not, you could certainly find a way to make it work, not just now but probably many times over the last 6 years. What I hear, and what she probably hears, when you ask for more time is this, "Honey, how will we maintain our current lifestyle, our cars and home, our vacations or other property if we have to take on the expense of a child? And I really hate my job, so I want to find a new one. All of this is far more important to me than your desire for a child and I'm really not willing to make any sacrifices for you right now." If that isn't true, then it is time to follow through on your commitments now, because she has every right to feel she does at this point.
I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I just don't see any way that you can complain about this. If you need more than 6 years to follow-through on your commitment to your wife, then you clearly have put your own goals/aspirations before her for a very long time and I think she has every right to find someone that will put her first for a change. Honestly though, look at this as an opportunity. Go to her, apologize for your selfishness and give her your blessing to go off the birth control. I bet she'll be so shocked by such a 180 that this will jump start your relationship recovery as well. I truly wish you both the best.