MarkTwain

So on the one hand Jesus is saying the Mosaic law still stands, and on the other he is saying "Be excellent to each other"*






*Bill & Ted's excellent adventure.

Honey

Look what God "Jesus" is saying, if you can't be true to the one you married.. I don't see you married any longer, and I will not bless this shame of a marriage any longer. God rather you split than hoping from bed to bed, am I right? Hell ya, I'm right. He said don't get it on with another neighbor's wife, that means no one else, didn't he? He ment DO NOT CHEAT. If you can't be true than I grant you a divorce. He doesn't bless cheaters and he doesn't bless same sex marriages either. Just going by the Bible here.

draconis

So since his porn addiction is filled with lust which equals adaultery therefore she can get a divorce.

Let alone he lied about honouring his wife.

draconis

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Honey

Yeah, she can get a divorce on those grounds. You can even get a no one to blame divorce, just can't see eye to eye on things, but what we have here calls for one big time.

What I never will get is people that are in love with a magizine, or someone on the internet, never met them or will meet the person, but will let everything go for this. UNREAL !!!

Sabine

Really? then you should open a thread on this and better watch out what oyu say on that matter ebcause many people did met online..

and didnt cheat their wife after..
but thats anotehr subject i dont see why its bring about her enor the relation between men puting more into porno than their own wife and people meeting on the internet! ???
how can you compare the two?
PEOPLE MEETING ON THE INTERNET ARE TWO REAL PERSON KNOWING EAHC TOTHERS AND TALKIGN TO GETHE RWHILE A PORN MAG IS JUST PICTURES AND there is no communication and the woman on it have no idea as for whom s buying those magz and watching them.
you cant compare the 2.
there is emotional commitment on internet relationship oyu dotn have on porn its 2 different things.
there is not 2 persons with porn addiction but only the guy and a paper.
How can oyu see things that way?

Sabine

aND IF LOOKIGN AT PORN EQUAL ADULTERY THEN IT MEANS THAT THINKING ABOUT ANOTHER WOMAN IN THAT WAY EROTICAL, SENSUAL, ROMANTICAL, AND SEXUAL, IS ALSO ADULTRY AND THAT THE MARRIAGE OF THE MEN DOING SO IS NO LONGER WORTH ANYTHING.
God doesnt bless cheaters you said nor does he bless the amrriage where one is cheatign the other.
So it means that all men who are cheating their wife in thoguhts when looking those porn magasins or thinking abotu another woman by night and day, are cheating their wife and that their marriage is no longer blessed by God meaning it is anihilated.

Are you all in that category or in the otrher one?
I speak to those who said that if you watch porn mag then youa re cheating.
I agree with that thoguth.
So Honey are you cheating your wife and is so your marriage no longer existing?

As for meeting people on internet and never meetign the person, as far a si lnwo thats a personal choice you amke to meet them or not, and its a total contradiction with saying "and let everythign go for this". If you really let everythign go for it then you meet that person for sure. Ditto its no longer just an internet conenction so whats your argument here?
Also whats the difference between emaila nd phone connectiona nd internet connection?
what is more if people met 3 tiems and only wrote letters once in a while, and people meeting everyday on the internet for a long periood of time?
Is the relation of those who met 3 times and wrote once in a while stronger than the one of those who didnt met yet but tlak together everyday?
or wouldnt it be the opposite in fact?
i dont se why you speak of internet cinections in sucha pejorativ way, like if it was something totaly stupid. In that case what are oyu doignhere but ahving several realtionships with several people on the internet. Do you also consider them as beiong low life nothing and stupid to talk in here to you as you talk to them?
Youa re also using lots of time on it.
So whats the difference?
At least soem people are not afraid to engage themselves and make a difference, and others are too couard to do it or to admit doing it.
What are you ashame of?

Sorry for some it might seems a bit out the strict subject, but i just was shocked to see how internet relationships was being mentioned in paralel with addiction to porn magasin it seems to me to be unreal and a bit exagerated.
It made me feel emotional. Sorry for those it might have disturbed.
i hope its alrigth.

draconis

Sabrine ~ Addictive behavior that does affect a marriage should not condemn one to live like that forever because of a vow. When I responded to the thread I first responded to the addiction and neglect he had for her. The pastor brought up good points and since religion is a big factor here I included bible quotes and connecting the dots. I also do not believe in any physical, verbal, emotional or sexual abuse of a spouce either but the bible does not address these concerns directly.

I think she should have her options open. While my normal reaction is to give the marriage a try or two I don't see it working here from her post.

draconis

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Sabine

I totaly agree with you and yoru view Draconis, i totaly agree with the fact that if the guy rather look a paper then be with his wife he can go marry the paper if he like and she can be free of him and have a real klife with someoen real instead!
Here in fact we have a super good exemple of how people living together already and seeign each others everyday and night, live in factmore apart in in a more unreal relationship than people who are physicaly apart but have a good and healthy relationship online.
iw as adressign the post of Honey about comapring porn addiction wiht usual internet relationship where people make a vow to one another and really fall in love for each others.
I beleive in spiritual connection and i dont see how such a conection shoudl be conider as less worth another just because it started online.
Comunicating is communicatign no matter what you chose to do it phone or letter or else, and feelign sare genuate no matter what object you use to comunicate them, and we got airplanes so the distance shouldnt be a problem.
I dont beleive that 2 married people are still married iof one of them dont love th eother or if one is cheating the other one way or another.
If there isnt commitment and engagement then there is nothig.
Youa re just sharing your flat and livign in a colective. You are not married.
A church marriage, oposit to maire marriage, shoudlnt eb solved by law and divorce but should be anihilated, broken, by a priest, just in a word, because it is obvious that if they sin that way or the guy sin in such way tha the bring shame upon his wife, and i found porn addiction more shamefulla nd worse than going with another women cause it send to her the signal that she is less worth that hore on a magasins! and thats the worse you can do to someone and specialy to your wife, then this man can no longer be married to his wife. It is destroyed before the word divoprce is pronounced. In the eyes of God it is worth nothing at all already the minute he beign with it.
The rign ymbolise that blessing of God and bow taken in his name, and that ring is broken.
There is no marriage.
i think hse should ask for divorce and present the fact as reason for divorce and not take any separation time at all but show him the door immediatly ihe is not worth it.
At least for her sake he shoudl have seek professional help on his own and should ahve feel very very ashame, Why did he married her? he must have knwon of it since long.
I am sorry for her.
its going to mark her for a long time.
i must ocnfess tha ti had never heard of the conspt "porn addiction" before coming to this forum.
is it soemthing new?
ike the fruit of too much sex exposure in the media adds and movies and too much availability of nuditiy and porn?
It is very worrying.
It sounds to me like the guy could be in the locked departement in the cookoos nest..with his mag compeltely cut for the outside world. It sounds like a mental illness to me and a serious one.
to be true sounds worse than alcoholism. At least the guy is here and got feelings than tis one is all disconected form reality around him.

draconis

Sabrine you are right, all communications are good via internet or phone or in person.

draconis

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Doll

Hi guys, Thank you for your input here.
I must confess it was hard to see "YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO DIVORCE!" in capital letters like that. It made me feel even more guilty. I feel guilty because if I use God's pattern, I should be able to forgive my husband seventy times seven and try again. I definitely don't want to cut short God's plans and blessings to my life because of a divorce. It's so hard when you are trying to do the right thing but still being a little selfish and trying to spare yourself of more hurting. I wonder what God Himself would say to me about my specific situation.
I tend to feel overly compassionate. I definitely don't want to go back because I feel sorry for him. He is desperate to have me back. He says He has changed and that God has worked on him. I don't understand why he waited for so long to seek help. It was such a painfull path for the both of us.
Anyways, I'm still here unsure and confused.

draconis

Will he go to counsiling now?

Will he make a written agreement that he is done with the porn and will seek help?

draonis

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GAsoccerman

Alright we got ourselves a Bible quote war....AESOME!! LOL just playing with you guys.

Doll, the bottom line is you ahve to find out for yourself what you really want and what YOU really need.

I know plenty of good christians that got divorced and either remarried or still single and are very happy that they ahve done it.

I think GOD would say to you, He rather see you single and Happy as opposed to Married and depressed.

But only you know deep inside what is best for you, only you know the truth of your feelings.

I worked with a woman who is a super Christian, she remained married to a husband she HATED for 9 years longer then she wanted to be, she got heavy, depressed, hated herself. She stayed amrried becuase her mother told her to, that she would be a embarrassment to her and her church if her daughter got divorced. The lady finally could not take it anymore and got a divorce against her parents wishes. You know what she is the happiest she has ever been, her parents got over it, and she lost weight and has a new boyfriend that fits her needs. She tellsme she wished she did it 9 years ago...that she lost those 9 years....for what? other peoples feelings?

I think GOD wants you to be happy, think about it long and hard and do what is best for YOU, some some internet pastor who is promoting his books

freeshias4me

"Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9)

....Sorry...Just had to add this scripture for Doll's sake.