Hmmm. So, would it be fair to say that he can't handle tension? So, therefore, can't handle your emotions? Sounds like he has been "protected" by family his whole life?.
Yes. Yes. Yes. He ALWAYS chooses his family over me. I know it's a petty example, but it really gets to me every year. My birthday is right after Christmas, so naturally it always gets overlooked. It also falls on my Grandmother's birthday and my husband's career mentor's birthday. Until we moved, he would always spend the day with his mentor and leave me hanging. Now that we've moved, he'll work so that he can take time off when HIS family comes in January. I almost feel like he takes advantage of the fact that I am strong, and not whiny, but come one! It's my birthday
He is very dependant on his parents. He always wants to call them whenever we have money troubles, not that they're rich, but they're 'comfortable'.
[QUOTE/]This is his deal. If he knew his identity and who he was and was comfortable with that, he would have "strength" to face tension and embrace it which would actually HELP your 'love' problem.?.[/QUOTE]
Not a good quality if a man is trying to be attractive.
My advice, he needs to get his butt a good mentor or individual male therapist. In addition, you guys need marriage counseling. If he is unwilling, there is NOTHING you can do but PRAY. However, if he is that weak where he won't face his demons in order to TRY to save his marriage to the woman he loves, you definitely have a right to cry every night and walk away. He has already gone against his vows.[/QUOTE]
I agree. Although, I don't like ultimatums. I don't think I should have to say counseling or I'm gone, especially when I've tried as much as I have and brought up counseling. I feel like he should want to save us, if there is anything to save. Maybe my standards are just too high... I feel like it's been all me this whole time, maybe that's what exhausted what love I did have...