05-10-2011, 04:42 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
| | Re: Wife say she doesn't love me......
Man, you guys are like Ann Landers. Geez. I got nothing to add for spurz...
Anthony, I was never crying or sniveling, when she told me she wanted out, I was calm as could be and simply said in a soft but firm tone - "OK, what is it that you really want? Is this really how you feel? I don't want this, I still love you and this will do significant damage to our families and our children. If this is really what you want, then I will not stop you, but know this - this will be harder for everybody than you think. Is there nothing else that can be done to save our marriage? You don't just throw away 36 years of your life." period the end.
Now here is where I failed MISERABLY, when she had her EA/PA 10 years ago I did not try to fight and stop her. She was betraying me and it KILLED me, and I was brutal on both of us by telling her to go right ahead and go "f*&ck" this guy. She did and she resents me for it. She feels like I did not care for her enough to not allow this happen. It's something I have to live with for the rest of my life, it can't be undone but in the heat of the situation, her affair, I lost it. I would have NEVER done that to her. She took a piece of my heart and my trust back then and I repaid her by selling our love out to this OM. I wish I could take it all back but it's too late.
I am comvinced this is where our serious problems started. Anthony8858, you handled it right by confronting the OM. I cowarded behind my vindictiveness and spite for what she had done by pushing her to the OM and at the same time I wished I was dead because I pushed her off to have a PA with this OM and she went and did it. I failed and God will judge me on that. We both failed miserably there. I wish I would have had this forum back then and that I would have had the wisdom to see things differently.