stevo7782

My wife cam back to me a month or so ago after leaving right before christmas, she was in a good relationship some short time after. now she is "working on herself" nothign else, how do i cope with this again...it took much work and energy to deral with it, all my friends and family were there for me but now not so much, cause the "i told you so" is the first thing i hear...i love her and miss her, now she holds all the cards to this marriage wheter it works or not..please help...

MarkTwain

How come she holds all the cards? Did you give her the whole deck, or did she steal it from you while you were sleeping?

Seriously though, please explain how she is able to call all the shots...

stevo7782

well she holds all the cards cause she refuses to compromise and she wants to do this on her terms and only her terms...she doesnt want to hear anything else but her own decisions...she knows i love her and want to be with her so she plays that "card" all the time...i do tellher that i want this to work and that i love her and my step daughter...so now she wants to work on only herself now and not "us", which is fine but i have no direction. my opinion is that if we get counseling from 2 different people on our own our marriage will get lost in this whole thing..she came back and let me feel our family again and then she pulls it away.. any opinion rather than her own doesnt count, im in this too and i dont think she realizes that...she rekindled my fire for our family so now i sit back and wait... she wont even talk to me and more...if i see a therapist, i dont even know what i need help with, i dont know if we are still "working" on our marriage or what.....my brian is in knots

MarkTwain

stevo7782-

You need to reclaim your power, by pulling back. You need to remove that certainty of your compliance from her mind. You can only achieve that by dropping the "lapdawg" attitude from within.

Honey

How I feel about a marriage.

Marriage should always be a 2 way street. If not, not much of a marriage to me.

Go talk to someone that deals with marriage problems. You both need to lay all you cards on the table and start over again.

Good luck !

draconis

Love is a two way street and at times you have to compromise. If she isn't willing to do this you will always be her lap dog and resentment will build.

Ask yourself this, can you live the rest of your life feeling like this?

draconis

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