INeedAdvice

I really need some help. My husband and I have been together since June 2006, and got married in September 2009. For the first 2 years of our relationship it was sold, but I got really sick in 2008. We still went ahead on the marriage even though I wanted to wait another 2 years, but he said we been through enough that we could manage anything. (Famous last words I guess). After two months of being married I was diagnosed with CRPS/RSD, it's a pain disorder that rapidly got worst after a foot surgery to remove a broken bone that had been there for 6 years.

Unfortunately ever since then I had to rely on my husband for everything; driving, helping me up the stairs, getting to my doctors visits, going to all my nerve blocking surgeries. Now I have noticed that he seems distant that he just really doesn't want to be near me anymore. He gets mad when I ask him to do something that he promised to do weeks ago. He gets mad when I give him a list of things I need. Plus all he wants to do is watch tv in his man cave (yes, I gave him a man cave for being there for me) and shuts me out. Sometimes I don't even see him anymore, know that I am able to drive (thanks to the handicap driving sticks).

I have asked him several times if he wants to talk but he just yells at me. Anytime I tell him that I need something he rolls his eyes and starts an argument stating I wanted to start one. I am so unhappy and depressed all the time. I really need my husband to be there sometime in my life and be supportive, but that's not happening at all. I have been looking at separating from him and moving back with my folks or a friend, but I can't get myself to do it. But the emotional abuse of him not being there and always being angry is putting me on a path that I can't deal with anymore. Can anyone give me advice on maybe getting him to talk or should I be packing my bags, which I really don't want to do.

Thanks

PBear

Just a question... Does he have a computer in his "man cave"? If so, have you ever checked his web browsing habits?

C
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staircase

I personally don't think snooping is ever a solution. If you feel the need to snoop, the relationship is absolutely over. You do not trust the person.

Anyhoo, sounds your husband just doesn't want to deal-I feel that way because my soon to be ex does the exact same thing. I went through a rough patch and he was all about being there for me. That lasted about a month then he flew off the handle every other day. I would take care of things myself, then he would feel bad and the cycle repeated over and over.

Definitely talk to him!!! Please don't just run out. Sometimes people don't realize how serious you are because they figure they can do what they have always done (treat you badly) and you'll do what you've always done (stay). Even during the best years of my marriage, getting my husband to talk was like pulling teeth. He's a pretty solitary person and would bury himself in his computer.

and no, I have never once checked his phone, computer, cell phone records, etc. I may want to beat him dead sometimes, but I always trusted him.

PBear

Staircase, that's definitely your option. Depends on whether you want to work through the issues or just leave, I guess. But unless you know what the actual issues are, it's hard to deal with them.

C
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