I will put it to you this way:
In year 3, I learned that for about 8 months she had been texting, excuse me, SEXTING one of our greatest friends. There was NO physical contact, but she was pretty much IN LOVE with this man. I had no CLUE. .
At the same time, she was sexting another guy that she met out of town... Again, no physical contact, just PICTURE after PICTURE of her nude and talking about sexual things. She was BUSTED! I confronted both of them. They were crushed, so upset for what they had done. So upset for hurting me and going behind my back. .
My wife and I then went to counseling together and then my wife went alone and we went together again after that.... We began to really work at our marriage. She had another slip up, but I caught it early. No SEXTING, but just too many texts and I knew it would lead to danger. She apologized and was upset with herself.
Its been 3 years now
BUTTTTT, hold the phone. I just learned 2 days ago that she has been SEXTING again with someone. I confronted her. She fell to pieces. She has sent nude photos and had very sexual conversations for about 3 weeks. ].
Of course, she is torn to pieces as well. She wants to get help. She is scared to death.... I love her with my whole heart. She is my best friend. She has never PHYSICALLY cheated on me, but this is the 4th guy he has began an inappropriate relationship with..... I don't know what to do.
You say you don't know what to do. Really? Because I see it this way... you can either keep doing what you have been doing your entire marriage (forgiving her and taking her back with zero consequences) and expect the same -- her feeling sad/upset/crushed/torn to pieces ... and then a REPEAT OF THE SAME behavior. It's a pattern. She is a serial cheater.
And now your job is in jeopardy because of her actions. I don't know what she did to put your job in jeopardy or who the guy was cheated with (please explain more of this to us) but apparently her deception and betrayal is now affecting your professional life.
So ask yourself: do you want to stay in a marriage with someone who has zero respect for you? Or do you want to cut your losses an dmove on?
You can't help someone who refuses to change their bad behavior. She has had chance after chance after chance after chance w/ zero consequences.
She does not respect you at all.
You say it wasn't physical but to me it's just as damaging since there were nude pictures exchanges.. with several men over time, especially one that was your own friend and now one that is effecting your professional life.
I think you should post this in the "Coping with Infidelity" thread.