Hi new here.
Wife of 2 years filed for divorce 2 weeks ago and has basically moved out to a friends.
Our problems involve me lying to her and breaking her trust.
I didn't realize at the time that I was.
But I was. And when it was brought up in counseling and it was like a slap in the face to me, a wake up call.
And since that time 6 months ago I vowed to her not to do it ever again. And I haven't. But at the same time, she had shut me out, she was hurt, and the more I tried, the further she went away.
We talked about going to one of these marriage getaways, but it never came to it's fruition. I really wanted to go, but she backed out.
So then I got the Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness program. She agreed to start it with me, but really didn't.
His philosophy is basically to put the problem or what happened away. And deal with that later. But focus now and try and rebuilding your relationship together. But she couldn't do it. She said she just couldn't get past things.
She loved me but wasn't in love (sound familiar?)
So for 6 months it's been me saying. I love you, and her saying, I know you do.
Her thinking was, she didn't know if she would feel that way again about me. There was nothing proactive on her part to try.
She said she hopes it worked out, but she was just hoping and not trying.
At this same time, we didn't have any couple friends, and she started hanging out with her much younger single girlfriends.
Both of them had just recently been dumped by their boyfriends.
So last week I helped her move some of her stuff to a storage unit she got. She packed up so much stuff so fast it was like a land grab. Like she couldn't wait to get out.
So she has an attorney and I am about to get one.
We have no kids, but are situation revolves around finances.
Going into the marriage, I owned my house free and clear, 2 cars free and clear, paid for my own health insurance.
Now.....we have a home equity loan on the house of $70,000.
I am on her health insurance. She has a great job and makes 4 times as much as I do. The loan is in both of our names. I couldn't get approved of the loan without her.
So now I am facing a loan I can't afford, trying to get my own health insurance. I feel abandoned in the marriage. I know I screwed up things and put us in this position. But once I realized how serious things were, she was not willing to actually work on the marriage.
So that is where I am now.
We could have worked thru our issues, my issues and I have. I am just sorry she couldn't stand by my side. She even admits to being a terrible wife the last 6 months.
I still want to stay married, but she just wants to move forward with the divorce. It has been a broken record in our conversations. She continues to ask, why didn't I listen to her to begin with and respect her wishes.
Wife of 2 years filed for divorce 2 weeks ago and has basically moved out to a friends.
Our problems involve me lying to her and breaking her trust.
I didn't realize at the time that I was.
But I was. And when it was brought up in counseling and it was like a slap in the face to me, a wake up call.
And since that time 6 months ago I vowed to her not to do it ever again. And I haven't. But at the same time, she had shut me out, she was hurt, and the more I tried, the further she went away.
We talked about going to one of these marriage getaways, but it never came to it's fruition. I really wanted to go, but she backed out.
So then I got the Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness program. She agreed to start it with me, but really didn't.
His philosophy is basically to put the problem or what happened away. And deal with that later. But focus now and try and rebuilding your relationship together. But she couldn't do it. She said she just couldn't get past things.
She loved me but wasn't in love (sound familiar?)
So for 6 months it's been me saying. I love you, and her saying, I know you do.
Her thinking was, she didn't know if she would feel that way again about me. There was nothing proactive on her part to try.
She said she hopes it worked out, but she was just hoping and not trying.
At this same time, we didn't have any couple friends, and she started hanging out with her much younger single girlfriends.
Both of them had just recently been dumped by their boyfriends.
So last week I helped her move some of her stuff to a storage unit she got. She packed up so much stuff so fast it was like a land grab. Like she couldn't wait to get out.
So she has an attorney and I am about to get one.
We have no kids, but are situation revolves around finances.
Going into the marriage, I owned my house free and clear, 2 cars free and clear, paid for my own health insurance.
Now.....we have a home equity loan on the house of $70,000.
I am on her health insurance. She has a great job and makes 4 times as much as I do. The loan is in both of our names. I couldn't get approved of the loan without her.
So now I am facing a loan I can't afford, trying to get my own health insurance. I feel abandoned in the marriage. I know I screwed up things and put us in this position. But once I realized how serious things were, she was not willing to actually work on the marriage.
So that is where I am now.
We could have worked thru our issues, my issues and I have. I am just sorry she couldn't stand by my side. She even admits to being a terrible wife the last 6 months.
I still want to stay married, but she just wants to move forward with the divorce. It has been a broken record in our conversations. She continues to ask, why didn't I listen to her to begin with and respect her wishes.