Apathetic husband for too long...
Hello, new here. I know nobody can tell me what i should do, but it's good to be able to write it down and be able to vent a bit. My husband and I will be married 23 years next month. We have 2 incredible teenage girls, I feel truly blessed to be their mom because they are such great people.
Trouble started 9 years ago when I quit my job that I hated and started working from home part time. I had full support from DH to do this. He USED TO BE a fun, loving, caring person and a great father. When I started staying home to work, he stopped parenting, stopped communicating with the kids, stopped being a part of their lives at all except for paying the bills. He became a workaholic and addicted to spending hours on the Internet (nothing illegal, just news and computer tech sorts of things). He stopped participating in life, basically.
I spent years trying to get him to be an active part of the family, things as simple as spending 20 minutes playing cards with the kids, going for a hike, out to a movie, etc. He stopped going to the kids' sporting events, never had a clue what they were doing in school, etc. He was more interested in his computer than his own children.
He has turned into a totally apathetic person, no friends, no hobbies, no interests, virtually nothing in the world that is worth him waking up and getting out of bed for in the morning except his computer time. He does a lot of chores and things around the house, that is not the problem. There has never been any abuse of any kind, just complete apathy about life now.
He provides very well financially for the family, but that is the ONLY that he contributes any more. I can have a better conversation with a brick than with my own husband. I've never stopped living my life, I see my friends, spend a TON of time with our kids and their friends because I truly enjoy being with them, I volunteer at school, I participate in community activities, etc.
I am a single parent in a 23-year marriage, except for the fact that I live under the same roof as the man who pays the bills. There is nothing left. I wasted years of time and energy trying to get him to be an active part of the family, to have a good relationship with our kids, etc. Time and time again over 9 years he has chosen his priorities, and his own children and family are not one of them. His parents are elderly and need care and he has completely dropped the ball as far as helping them out, he just doesn't care.
I'm done, and I've come to the realization that I'm sooo much better without him, but I feel dead inside when I'm with him. My girls keep asking why we're still with him. The thing is that I have no idea how to survive on my own financially since I've only worked part time from home for the past 9 years and I've been a full time mom.
OK... long enough sob story for now. It just feels good to get it off my chest and to say it out loud. There are a thousand instances I could hash out, but I won't get into that.
Any other people out there who are with completely apathetic and emotionless spouses?