Two weeks before he proposed we were both hanging out with our exes. I think I just wanted to get married, so I said yes.
There should have been a RED flag here.
Our engagement was awful. I constantly had second thoughts but I just couldn't imagine backing out.
When your inner feelings is telling you that there's something wrong, you should listen.
Now, three years into marriage, I am wondering if I will ever get over him or if I should quit fighting it. He's still single...I'd like to think b/c he still hasn't gotten over me either. We talk occasionally and I don't hide this from my husband
Not a good sign of a stable relationship.
Am I being cruel by staying in this marriage?
Yes, Do BOTH yourselves a favor and get out of this mess before things get out of control.
Your husband maybe devastated at first but better to get it over with now than later. He will eventually get over the pain of the divorce and will go on ... hopefully ... to a better life. He may not think so now but time does heal all wounds.
I'm sure that him being aware that you still think about your ex boyfriend frequently is eating at him. He may not say so now but as time passes and this continues, you're liable to see a retaliation of some sort. It can get worse!
The sad part is, you may be headed for a serious disappointment. More often than not (in a situation like yours), Grass is NOT greener on the other side. You need to get yourself straightened out before making any more commitments.