WorriedWife!

I have been with my husband for 7 years, 4 of those married. It seems like ever since we got married he started lying about everything! He probably lied before that, I was just to naive to realize it; anyway, we fell on hard times recently and have been staying with family members temporarily and it has gotten WAY worse since then! He is not cheating, but lying about stupid stuff.. such as stuff he buys (he hides stuff in the car), going to random places with his friends (Mainly the gym), and he even lied about going to work...I called there yesterday to ask him to bring home some medicine for his son and to my surprise he was not there, I confronted him and he said the new girl there did not know what she was talking about...they also said he was not there today. I always catch his lies, I can just sense it...but when I confront him he blows up and says he is leaving because I don't trust him. umm no **** I dont trust him, he has given me every reason not too!

I know I should leave, but im facing two delimas...one I love him with every part of my being! I am young and he is the only one I have been in a serious relationship with...he is everything I know! Secondly, I we are expecting our third child and if he leaves, I will have nothing. I have an associates degree and am going to college for my bachelors, but aside from that I have no job (hard to find one when your 8 months preggo) no car since its in his name, no drivers license for that matter...I feel like even if I did get up the courage to leave, I will just be stuck with my family members forever and its not their job to support me.

Im at the point where I am just considering letting him lie and just go with it...if he is happy then that is all that matter right? He can have his life and my kids will have a complete family...but then im tired of crying! Ugh this is so confusing!

Has anyone ever dealt with this? I just need some type of support or advice! I have no one to talk to at all!

georgina

Hi there, you deserve so much more than this, can you really see yourself happy being lied to day in day out forever!!! you owe it to yourself and your children to tell him enough is enough and he must tell the truth and if he has a problem he must get help... otherwise he does not love you the way you love him and will never tell you the truth, also by staying with him when he lies constantly you risk your children growing up thinking this is the way to behave which just isnt right... you have so much going for you you are not seeing it! you have support from family.. use it and dont feel guilty, you have education behind you and will be able to use this in the future... you must be strong now and lay it down straight that you are fed up with all the lies....

really hope you can find happiness

georgina

rfAlaska

That sounds like a tough situation. Two kids, a third just about here and living with family members. Add his behavior to that mix and you must be going crazy.

When you call him on his lies, he goes ballistic because that's an easy response. It puts the focus on his behavior at the moment and takes it away from the real issue. It's also extremely manipulative (but you already knew that).

Do you have any idea WHY he is lying? I'm not sure that it really matters but it might give you a clue to where he is at. The lying about being at work would REALLY bother me.

Honestly, I would consider an ultimatum - stop lying or we're done. Trust is huge in marriage and his continual lying about stupid stuff can only lead to worse scenarios. Having said that I fully recognize that your life circumstances right now will make it very difficult for you to follow through on that ultimatum. It sounds as if you have very little in the form of financial resources. Do you have family members that will support that kind of a decision?

Your issues are big and your options seem very limited ... sorry. So many times I wish for a crystal ball and a magic wand. It would make life so much easier.