Misa

I have been with my current partner for almost five years. Been married for almost 1 year. I have one child but from a previous relationship. I am only 26 years old. Now, the guy I am with is a good guy. I could bet my life he would never cheat on me or even flirt with another girl. In many ways we are the same. But there are many things that are so different and drive me completely insane.

He is a "safe" guy and I know he would always be there for me. If I got in an accident and was crippled, he would take care of me. If my face got burnt up and I was hideous, he would still love me. The thing is, every day, I can't help but feel he is not right for me. I don't know if I'm living in a fantasy that there's someone way better suited for me, or if I should be grateful for having such a good guy in my life. He doesn't make me happy......all the things he does for me, would make any woman happy. But I don't feel a connection anymore.

Do I need to wake up and be grateful and push my other feelings aside? Or , do I need to leave and search for a better match. Some say it is better to regret after doing, then to regret and never have tried at all. I don't know if I should play it safe, or I should leave. I know I would feel guilty as hell. I would ruin him completely. I am worried if I leave, I will regret it later on in life.

dawgfan

Hey Misa -

I think if they're honest, a lot of people wonder at some point if they married the right person. Sometimes it seems like a long, long time between "I do" and "happily ever after."

I found a series of articles called "When Expectations Meet Reality." It talks about dealing with disillusionment and the kind of doubts you're describing.

I wonder, too, if you could talk with an older woman who's been married a long time. I'll bet she'd have some good advice for you.

Bless you, friend.

dawgfan