My marriage seems to be deteriorating. I want to fix things, but I am not sure how.
I have a lot to be thankful for, we have 2 smart children. My husband makes 90k with thousands more in bonuses. We live in a cozy house in a beautiful neighborhood with good schools. I am able to work on Saturday only for $22 per hour. We are both 32. We have been together since 20. We also have a good sex life and usually do it every other day.
I felt that things were deteriorating at the birth of my daughter. And I tried to fix things. I read John Gottman's 7 principles. I tried to follow the advice, but my husband wasn't listening to me about it. We were arguing and he ended up screaming at me that he was just going to divorce me. I felt very sad, but he recanted.
I think a lot has to do with how difficult my husband's job is, and we don't spend enough 1:1 time. He works long hours and our children are 8 and 15 months. On top of this by the end of the day, I am exhausted and we rarely spend time together.
The problems are that my husband is hard for me to work with. For one thing, he rarely gives a direct answer. He answers questions with more questions. I often get exhausted and give up when trying to say anything to him.
In the past, he has done things to me that were unkind. Example: he would say he'll be right there and then keep working for another hour while I waited. He has stopped this recently. He also encouraged me to ask him out for lunch and then said no over 100 times (literally). Now I am refusing to ask at all because I assume no. He thinks this is not trying. I am tired of asking and being turned down: Impasse.
He woke me up late on Friday night by turning all the lights on in our bedroom and slamming things around. I had to work eary in the morning. I woke up and told him I am so tired of you. Let's just get divorced.
I asked him to come and help me find my county pass because I wanted to go to the gym. He said he would be down in a minute. I was angry because I wanted to find it and leave so I just slammed and shattered my phone.
We just feel so much resentment towards each other. How do we solve it?
I have a lot to be thankful for, we have 2 smart children. My husband makes 90k with thousands more in bonuses. We live in a cozy house in a beautiful neighborhood with good schools. I am able to work on Saturday only for $22 per hour. We are both 32. We have been together since 20. We also have a good sex life and usually do it every other day.
I felt that things were deteriorating at the birth of my daughter. And I tried to fix things. I read John Gottman's 7 principles. I tried to follow the advice, but my husband wasn't listening to me about it. We were arguing and he ended up screaming at me that he was just going to divorce me. I felt very sad, but he recanted.
I think a lot has to do with how difficult my husband's job is, and we don't spend enough 1:1 time. He works long hours and our children are 8 and 15 months. On top of this by the end of the day, I am exhausted and we rarely spend time together.
The problems are that my husband is hard for me to work with. For one thing, he rarely gives a direct answer. He answers questions with more questions. I often get exhausted and give up when trying to say anything to him.
In the past, he has done things to me that were unkind. Example: he would say he'll be right there and then keep working for another hour while I waited. He has stopped this recently. He also encouraged me to ask him out for lunch and then said no over 100 times (literally). Now I am refusing to ask at all because I assume no. He thinks this is not trying. I am tired of asking and being turned down: Impasse.
He woke me up late on Friday night by turning all the lights on in our bedroom and slamming things around. I had to work eary in the morning. I woke up and told him I am so tired of you. Let's just get divorced.
I asked him to come and help me find my county pass because I wanted to go to the gym. He said he would be down in a minute. I was angry because I wanted to find it and leave so I just slammed and shattered my phone.
We just feel so much resentment towards each other. How do we solve it?