Tommo

Married 25 years...kids are grown and just about out of the house. My wife's a serial cheat. I've become used to it and...for the sake of the kids...I've hung around.

A few times we've "separated" but stayed in the same house. Seven or eight years ago during one of these partings I met a GREAT woman...and we got along like a house on fire...but then this new interest "brought my wife to her senses". What nonsense! I'm a meal ticket to her and always there to "hold the fort" while she does her thing.

The past few months I've been searching for this gal to see if she'd accept this fool's apologies. Nope, no luck.

So I guess this post is to (hopefully) save someone else the feeling of frustration I am saddled with.

Don't end up kicking yourself...

Prodigal

So what happens when the kids are all out of the house? Are you going to stay and hold vigil over the corpse that is your marriage?

We all kick ourselves from time to time. That doesn't mean we have to make it our life's pursuit. Maybe you should consider being something more than a "meal ticket," regardless of whether or not you find the great woman again.

Life is too damn short.

__________________
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

Tommo

Thanks for that...but I guess maybe what I might add to the thread may prove helpful to others:

The kids are great. I'm the one that's always "been there" so they're the ones I talk the most to about it. Basically, it's all come down to being smart about this whole mess. I went through the emotional stuff...oh...maybe ten years ago...and got over it. Now, I'm in control of my emotions and am in the "escape amicably" mode.

How this is accomplished adds up to nothing more or less than "money". Advice given to me was to be smart about things...take my time.

If ever a women deserved to get "struck by lightning" it's this gal. My lawyers will toss the first bolt right out of the blue.

Geez! So now it's come to this...

Makes one feel quite small, doesn't it?

Thanks for the kind thoughts.

the guy

been there and done that, my mind set on "cheaper to keep her" was washed away about 20 months ago.
I finally told my serial cheating wife that I was done and confronted her and that I was now ready to leave the marriage.

The wierd thing was is she also wanted change and we both through our 20 year marriage was out the window and lets just say we never wanted the "way things used to be".

We both decided that a new marriage with the same person was better then a new marriage with different peolpe but with the same behaviors.

So we both made the dicision to have a new marriage with each other, with healthier behaviors. Its been working so far and I am quit surpprised on what she has done to make her self a better person.

No real advice, just wanted to share

Tommo

Ha! The whole thing is, she's not a bad sort. Hey, it took me 25 years to give up and throw in the towel. The emotional trauma was dealt with ten years ago...and I've been one diligent switched-on SOB since. A truth in life is that self respect should be one's driving force.