10-11-2011, 01:37 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New Mexico
| | A taste of reality
After 26 years of marriage my wife and I came upon some problems that I discussed in other threads.
She wanted to separate but her dad dropped dead of a heart attack (lucky bas****) so she had no place to go. She is co-dependant with our 23 year old son who lives in a diffrent state.
I tried the begging and pleading and it just seemed to make things worse. She would not talk to me an would spend more and more time on facebook than usual. I got on her page and when I confronted her about the new male "friends" she had she got angry and told me to "Stay off"
I finally came to the conclusion that if we could not work our problems out together that I would not sit aruond and be miserable. I would get on with my life and make myself happy if no one else.
I had an attorney friend come talk to us and explain a simple divorce. He explained how we would split assets up and it turned out that SHE would end up paying me child support since my business actually lost $14,000 the year before and $900 last year due to a tree falling on the shop and deciding to expand while rebuilding.
And the best part? She would have to pay me half of her retirement fund and that I would be able to use that to buy her out of her half of the house and still have enough for a new car.
I also brought up the HIPAA violation her or my therapist made when she used medical information against me in an argument that should have only been between me and my therapist with whom she works with.
I have placed facebook on our restricted list on our security settings so she can not log on at our home and she does not know how to change it back. She is getting really frustrated with that.
I know this all sounds evil, but it is in fact what the real world would be like. I am a practical man. And then she found a picture of someone I met. When she confronted me about it I simply told her I have only talked to her but if she left I would not sit around and cry over it. I would move on and simply replace her. Like I said, Im a practical man.
At any rate, we are talking now. Were getting along somewhat and going to counseling. I told her I was not gonna force her to do anything and if she feels she must leave without at least tryinto work through this together that woud be her decision and I would accept it.
I know this all sounds harsh but I feel it was what I had to do to get her to sit down and talk.