Re: Follow my heart??
Thanks Ryan. I think that's a fair summary of the current situation. Like most of the men, marriage for isn't a transitory thing for me. I did make commitment to her when I did. But, it is also the truth I do not feel the love for her anymore. It is not because I have met my FL. It's been years I have felt like this. Mentally and physically I am just not able to connect to her. I know with two small children in the house, sex life for couple changes drastically, but I have completely lost the physical want for her over the years. This is probably because, we started connecting mentally less and less over time. Most of the time, I feel like being caretakers of the children than anything else.
It is very selfish for me to think of finding the love I longed for because I am only thinking about my feelings. But, at the same time, how can I love her when I don't actually feel it in my heart. Is this fair to her not to feel the love from my side.
I appreciate many things about her. Her caring nature, decisiveness, intelligence. But, don't feel the love. The nature of our relationship was always like this. Many time, she takes care of me like a child. I feel the love from her, but I couldn't return the love like a man does to a woman. It was more of a motherly or friendly love.
I feel an unique mental and physical connection with my FL. May be I have met her after many years and our relationship ended abruptly due to external factors. I also know, if we live together, after some time, we will probably be in a similar place i.e. caught up in daily life routine. But, I feel the love for her. I feel like loving her, taking care of her.
If we hadn't met, we all wouldn't have been in this situation today. But, may be life is offering this opportunity to know myself, my personality, my relationships with people. It is probably helping myself knowing what kind of person I actually am.
My mind says I should stay. But, can two people live together without love between them? Is this fair to both? My heart says I should go and be happy so that I can make people I care about, happy.